autonomy

tired tired tired; and desperately in need of distraction. have not done any of my tutorials/assorted homework nor studied for econs. how did my weekend go by so fast?

anyway, because i was thinking about jersey numbers and am such a HP junkie, i went to google arithmancy and this really interesting thing turned up. so just to kill time, i quote...

"The most basic form of arithmancy is used with the names of people you want more information about. First, you must convert the name into a number. Each letter of the alphabet corresponds to a number, as shown in this chart:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A B C D E F G H I

J K L M N O P Q R

S T U V W X Y Z

Next, you "reduce" your number by adding your numbers together until all you are left with is one digit.

When working with someone's name, you can calculate three different numbers for them. The first, called the "Character Number", can be used to find out the general personality type of the person, and is derived by using all the letters of the name, as we did above.

The second number you can calculate for someone is their "Heart Number". This represents the individual's inner life and can indicate desires and fears hidden from others. You calculate it as we did above, but using only the vowels contained in their name.

The final number you can calculate for someone is their "Social Number" and is calculated using only the consonants of the name. The Social Number represents the outer personality, the face an individual shows to the outside world."

to make things easier, here's the link for the calculator to get your three numbers and then the chart that explains what those numbers supposedly mean.

my results were

Character: 2

Heart: 3

Social: 8

which is... scary. after all, wouldn't you be scared if you could "be the pinnacle of success or the depths of failure". i know which way i'm heading towards right now, sighhhhhh~

anyway, more at: http://www.beyondhogwarts.com/harry-potter/articles/an-introduction-to-arithmancy.html

and i am now done killing time; hungry~

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"I think I’m afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."

- Charlie Brown

that rather applies to me, except the cause and effect link is a little different. imminent sadness usually induces a sudden and unexpected high in me before i go crashing down.

forget your fear of falling

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

- Jim Morrison

i want to write more, but i guess now isn't the time;

hang in there.

now now now

i have this strange desire to fall into a giant puddle and lie there staring at the sky as big fat raindrops splatter all over me; maybe it'll rain during training tmr :D

hello i am

"Few of us get to know and understand the moment when our childhood ends and out adulhood begins. In childhood, all our feelings are simple and easy. Nothing is really very complicated. We want this; we can’t have that. We love this person; we don’t love or even like that one. We’re excused from responsibilities or agree to our little chores. Our decisions are about things so trivial that later on, it makes us laugh at how much weight and importance we put on them. There is, after all, no greater dispensation, no excusing and forgiving coming from anything as much as from our youth. We are protected by the simple phrase, too young to know or appreciate the full extent of her actions."
-Secrets in the Attic by V.C. Andrews

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy.
But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.
You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real—but you create the context. And the context is everything.
The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
-Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story by Chuck Klosterman

so many books i want to read but there's no time to :(

sighhhhh eye hurts

macaroni

"You've got nothing to lose. Many people don't allow themselves to love, precisely because of that, because there are a lot of things at risk, a lot of future and a lot of past. In your case, there is only the present."

- Veronika decides to die by Paulo Coelho

------

the present's really all we've got; we can't bring the past back or push the future forward, so in the end we can only do things while we're in the here and now.

c'est la vie

Alice: That’s the most stupid expression in the world. ‘I fell in love’ - as if you had no choice. There’s a moment, there’s always a moment; I can do this, I can give in to this or I can resist it. I don’t know when your moment was but I bet there was one.

Anna: Yes, there was.

Alice: You didn’t fall in love, you gave in to temptation.

-Closer by Patrick Marber

-----

Zedka: Do you remember the first question I ever asked you?

Veronika: Yes, you asked me if i knew what being mad meant?

Zedka: Exactly. This time I'm not going to tell you a story. Madness is the inability to communicate your ideas. It's as if you were in a foreign country, able to see and understand everything that's going on around you, but incapable of explaining what you need to know or of being helped, because you don't understand the language they speak there.

Veronika: We've all felt that.

Zedka: And all of us, one way or another, are mad.

-Veronika decides to die by Paulo Coelho

"She hated the love she had been given, because it had asked for nothing in return, which was absurd, unreal, against the laws of nature. That love asking for nothing in return had managed to fill her with guilt, with a desire to fulfil another's expectations, even if that meant giving up everything she had dreamed of for herself. It was a love that for years had tried to hide from her the difficulties and the corruption that existed in the world, ignoring the fact that, one day, she would have to find this out, and would then be defenceless against them."

-Veronika decides to die by Paulo Coelho

i feel like dog-earing so many pages in this book just so that i can go back to my favourite paragraphs and read them over and over again but i somehow can't bear to deface my book like that.

and i really feel like changing this ghastly blogskin.

if all i'm dreaming

wheee this has been quite a good week and i am vaguely high even though i should be going to sleep. but oh wells, just to update this space...

"i think i wanna marry youuu~~~"

;D

and omg i'm so happy i got new cleats, my old battle-scarred pair should have been retired a long long time ago. i'm rather looking forward to this coming week; fun with the special friend and best friends, a nice rest day on friday and possible teengames on saturday. now, if only my fringe would just grow about 1000000000 times faster and all would be dandy.

and please visit http://project-odd.com to buy stuff and help us raise funds for club rainbow! we're still quite far from our targeted amount but i think we can do it! yes yes yessssss~ please buy to donate yepyeps~

and i'm craving apple strudel right now still ]:

hold the ocean in your hands

ho ho ho, PROJECT ODD's collection 2 has launcheddddd~!

NOW PANIC AND SHOP HERE

inadequate

"What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you."

- Jeanette Winterson

you gotta believe them

life has been like walking 5 dogs all at once, which honestly is a real headache; but not impossible, no definitely not. you just have to keep them all in sight and step quickly before they trip you with their leashes. know where you want to go and stick to your path; deviate only for greener grass. beware of bigger dogs... and signposts that appear out of nowhere.

this is really the strangest analogy ever.

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ive been super tired recently, and i'm starting to neglect homework. not a very good idea, but old habits die hard :/ actually i can't remember what i wanted to post about but it's been so long since my last post that i feel like i should have one, if only just so that my future self xxx months from now wont check back and wonder "did i fall down a hole or something?" there isn't much to write about concerning school, except i think im starting to get on a lot of teachers' bad sides, oops.

attachment at mt pleasant has been amazing fun and even though weekends aren't exactly rest days anymore, i really still look forward to them. i think i'd be happy working in an environment like that, even though it's rather tiring. but i love how its so dynamic and every day is different, despite doing many routine things. but the feeling of working with animals is just... amazing and the staff there are all so friendly. i guess it'll suffice to say that i'm glad i applied for the attachment :)

ROADRUNNER BEEP ROADRUNNER

wahaha i really converted to the new blogger template, though it's not as simple as i thought it was. still needed to do some css styling cause the original template was just so... standardized.

and BLOCKS ARE OVER YOZZZ. okay so they have been for like 1 day and this is kinda late to be celebrating it but wheeeeeeeeeeeeee~ life has been good so far even though today did not go as planned and that was quite :( but ish okayz derre's tmrx and ivp will be fun. i hope earth hour/ultimate mini-outing will be too :D

and omg nydc's oreo cheesecake... @@ tonguegasmic!! i will get to trying all their cakes i dont care screw my resolutions ^^ but okay all things in moderation before i get too fat to fit through mrt gantries D:

and recently i've been thinking about things that make me happy and wow the list just keeps getting longer. maybe i'll post it one day if i can dredge it out from my bottomless pit of muses :D and have you ever wondered where the looney tunes characters who fall into big black holes end up? what could possibly be on the other side of a flat 2D plane :/

when everything but your heart aches

wow. i'm surprisingly calm this time round and i guess i should be off to start revising bio. kudos to all those who had the sense to start earlier, much much earlier. oh wells, tonight i am a vampire.

honestly, i just can't wait for thursday and the last paper to be over; i'm going to curl up and sleep for a few centuries.

freezeframe

the week's ending again :( normally i look forward to fridays and today was a special friday but because of the terrible things that take place next week, today wasn't a very nice friday. i'm just not ready for next week to happen; i completely haven't touched bio and econs and they're the heavy content subjects, which is probably why i've been avoiding them. the other two aren't doing much better either but nvm, not graded so no need to stress out over them that much. *breatheeeee* and ivp tmr, so excited~ i hope we don't get owned too badly :S

anyway, random thought: why do so many people like starbucks' green tea frapp? the other drinks are nice too! oh and random comment: the best thing about using the starbucks tumbler is that you can violently shake your frapp once it starts separating into the ice and coffee layers :D

and even more random comment: i feel like converting to the new blogger template system but it feels as if i'm betraying all my (already dying off) coding roots. no more styling #containers and .headers and just drag boxes around or select options in drop down menus etc etc etc. urgh geek moment.

okay so since this post is so random and trivial, here's a short excerpt from the story book i'm reading (yes i'm still reading them even though blocks are next week whee~)

"It starts out young -- you try not to be different just to survive -- you try to be just like everyone else -- anonymity becomes reflexive -- and then one day you wake up and you've become all those other people -- the others -- the something you aren't. And you wonder if you can ever be what it is you really are. Or you wonder if it's too late to find out." - Microserfs by Douglas Coupland

the amount of food for thought in the book is kinda amazing, especially since everything just sort of flows out in simple everyday conversational words and you don't actually know what it was in the book that strikes you or made an impact but as you read you realise that somehow you weren't the person you were when you were at page 1 and yet somehow you can't pinpoint what's changed. and wow. long sentence. but yeah, the beauty of books ^^

ok i sort of got distracted and i don't remember what other completely unrelated stuff i wanted to add so tata for now~

omfgggggg

this is not a good different.

where did my priorities and self-control go?

you make my heart have premature ventricular contractions

last words of...
sirius black
albus dumbledore
charity burbage
dobby
fred weasley
severus snape
tom riddle

i can't believe how incredibly distracted i am today and i feel like indulging in some harrypotterfanfic goodness but wow, it's been 3months or more since i last read one. i'm amazed how i managed to quit my biggest addiction without any withdrawal symptoms. even my sis noticed :O

and i've taken to looking at photos of amazing food and wondering where i can get them. this is very counterproductive. and even though it's way too early... *hints zinc/ying*

birthday cake maybe? ;D

and gosh it's been going round and round in my head:

so beautiful~~~

my heart is like the open highway

hellos me homeys~ it's been awhile again and this week was generally kinda awesome till i had some really unintended flipout yesterday but oh wells, what has happened has happened. i'm kinda freaked out by how i have to start figuring out my future and then working to make the future i want happen but that's for another day. need more action and less procrastinating/regretting.

but main point is, VISIT PROJECT-ODD.COM yeah~!
(and i present to you, the xinlin shrine lollll @@)

yepyeps, all profits are donated to charity, meaning Club Rainbow (Singapore) in this case. They help children (and their families) who are suffering from chronic/life-threatening illnesses and oh gosh i have typed that out so many times i feel like such a doofus. i hate that i have to try and add emotional hooks just to get some people to purchase stuff. like cmon, we're not even asking for donations or anything and people have to give so much crap then backout/deadbuyer and all that rubbish. ok nvm. and oh the collection actually launched monday 7th march and i'm only posting now because i am the ultimate lagger tyvm.

gee, what a random post :/ and listening to acoustic bon jovi songs in the car was really kinda surreal *.*

when you know nothing at all

i wanted to post something as a reminder to myself the other day but never got to doing it. but i guess there isn't much time to do that today too so i shall try to not... ramble :/ (omg blood donation was rather surreal)

anyway, it's strange how the people who should be the ones encouraging you turn out to be the ones who make you doubt yourself the most. they'll never see these words, but thanks for all the constant reminders to "stop pretending, you know you can't do it". many years ago i thought i wanted something but you all told me that i didn't actually want it, so geez okay maybe i didn't know myself and you guys knew better.

that said and half a lifetime of doubting myself later, i realise that i do still want that, so i think it's time for you people to shut the fuck up and not tell me what i care and not care about. you don't know me anymore. perhaps you did when i was younger, but i've changed and it's time that you stop acting like you know better. you really don't, because you only see what you want to see. but warped as it is, i'm still thankful because the self-doubt and self-reflection only helped me better understand myself. i know what a terribly flawed person i am and there's no need for you to throw it at me every single day. and really, please don't presume you know the motivation behind my very action because honestly, you couldn't be more wrong.

some part of me wonders if i turned out the way i am because of what you said, that i don't care because you told me that i didn't, that i'm lazy and self-centered and irresponsible and goal-less and shallow and useless because you told me that was the kind of person i am. but that's just me trying to push the blame to you and self-fulfilling prophecies, because in the end i guess it's my fault for being so weak-minded that i believed everything you told me.

that stops now though, because i'm not some impressionable young kid anymore and i don't want to be the kind of person that you say i am.

"The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of star stuff."
- Carl Sagan

asdfzxcvjkl

dammit i was supposed to be doing work; urgh distractions T.T and i wish my lappie's graphics thingy will stop randomly crashing. and i want to make a new blogskin again, it's been way too long and this skin is pissing me off; too muted rarh. oh and i need to make a skin for project-odd~ ok this is really random :/ and i hate it that i piss myself off and yet still do nothing about it.

---

"There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existence of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip."
- Stephen Fry

i need to freaking get a grip on my life; must. not. screw. this. up. any. further.

just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind

and in my mind too, for that matter

shooting stars through your heart

most of the photos are by my sis, it was quite funny to come home and find her busying about my room in semi-darkness. and i think i've been playing too much henhouse, my eyes are going a little @@. anyway this is me procrastinating again~~

on a history book page

"How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?"
-Don DeLillo

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it's been awhile since i blogged and it kinda bugs me to leave such big gaps in my entries; i'm just the kind of person who likes to be able to trace how i've spent my time. so yeps, cny was cny, lots of omnomnom-ing and visiting with the ying jo zinc chels was beyond awesome. the same old chomping away at all the snacks and then pingpong at zinc's again.

2010...



2011...

cool right? ;D and lol ying and i are a joke teehee. our expressions (L) oh that reminds me, i have random sequences to gif >D tee hee hee. and yay more photos for my wall :D and not the facebook one, because if you thought of that first you seriously need to stop thinking of that site; my sis stayed up all night replying to her birthday well wishes, tsk.

oh yes, my parents baked a cake for her :O nothing compared to the one zinc made for ying but hey, i'm impressed haha.

and oh yes, orientation campfire was... nostalgic.


i just look at the j1s and wonder, wow were we really that happy? jc was a whole new adventure, and quoting our batch song "this ain't just another journey, not just another story, it won't be just like the rest, cause hwachong's ours to remember". the memories (L) - gotta hold on to them and make many more.

"No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That’s how your whole life will feel someday."
- Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

but i believe

thought about so many things today, but i guess this isn't the place so a very belated
HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!
---
live like you're dying,
because you are.

one foot front of the other

well hello again folks, it's been awhile. school, as usual, was a mad rush of tutorials, assignments, lectures and all that. i don't really know what i want to blog about because too much time has passed too quickly and i can't discern one day from the other. so yes, school is tiring. and seeing the j1's orientation just makes me envious and scared at the same time. because wow, we're really j2s now. it's our last year; gotta make it count.

rarh okay i got distracted by some stuff we were doing in gp today. being a free thinker just leaves too much grey area to cover and i can't decide what i am. do i believe in god? well i guess so. but a specific god? not really, i don't actually know enough about any anyway. so i guess i'm a deist?

ok so back to trying to recall how i just spent the last 10 ten days and... i don't remember. someone should just hit me on the head, multiple times too. actually no i take that back, i think too many people would want to try :O

oh oh oh yes i remember now :D and all the happy feelings have flooded back in and this is an awesome floaty feeling and i'm not making sense. right. so sat (22/1) was SAT day then tuition then paranormal activities 1 + saw 7 at home with good company. basically involved lots of ceiling-staring and other things; pretty amazing 24 hours yes... monday (24/1) home-based learning so nothing big about that. late night walk was (y) hahas.

and then school started again and then everything is just one blur of too much work and too little sleep. oh yes, first h3 pharm chem lecture and tutorial. zzz i'm not sure if i can handle it but we'll see. and then this weekend... went for training on sat then tuition then movie.

and ahhhh i can't get over what happened today. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. it was so... coincidental. and all because of a fortune cookie. ah well, what's happened has happened. i'm rather relieved that it's finally out.

cause everybody's heart don't beat the same

you mean it's only been two weeks?!
god it feels like months already;
so unbelievably and depressingly tired.
---
"Where did the past six minutes go?
When time is used up, does it go to some kind of place like a junkyard?
Or down a river like the waters beneath Niagara falls?
Does time evaporate and turn into rain and start all over again?"
- All Families Are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland

we all live in a yellow submarine

yes i'm feeling nostalgic;
i'm glad we had so much fun when we still could.
---
it was a good day today, i guess growing up just brings in new kinds of fun ;D

the walls they crash through

we accept what we think we deserve;;

"Then, I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be."
- The perks of being a wallflower

expecto patronum

should i sleep early today? there's so much to do and study, but it's not going to make much of a difference anyway. i'm too distracted, wasting time, etc. and see, this is why my blog posts are always so shallow, i just type without much thinking and all these random surface thoughts just find their way into the little box on the screen.

anyway, since being a student for the most part of my life has left me defining my calender years as school years, the year doesn't feel like it's started yet so therefore by that same illogical reasoning my new year resolutions are still on time.

1. stay close to the people that matter
2. don't let the bitches and bastards get me down
3. read many many many beautiful books
4. eat more good food and drink lots of starbucks dark choc mocha
5. lose the weight i gained in 2010
6. retire from my position as professional sloth and become an active potato (so that i have some chance of accomplishing number 4)
7. attain muggerhood
8. do well for a levels

:/ i wonder if they're in order of importance; honestly, i'm not sure.

rainbows for your eyes to see

so i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
and maybe we'll never know most of them.
but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from,
we can still choose wherever we go from there. we can still do things.
and we can try to feel okay about them.
- the perks of being a wallflower
---
i'm feeling very... empty.

there's a hole in the ceiling downstairs

so damn happy;;

there's a song that you can find in every moment of your life

how weird. i opened and closed the blogger tab so many times. i just stared at the little blank box and wondered what i should write because there are so many small little things i feel like mentioning.

like how i finally bought a very simple bag after a very long and complicated consideration and even though the more practical side of me is aghast at my choice, the rest of me is quite satisfied with it. it's like... a rectangle with straps. like honestly, i don't think bags can get any simpler and i just like how deconstructed it is. but boy am i going to suffer for it when i have to carry more things/dig around to find stuff. oh wells, it would have been too easy to just buy a different coloured clone of my old 'yellow' bag.

oh and finally saw the best friend again after so long. kinda cool actually, since i saw jen on tues, zinc on wed, and ying today :D anyway we wandered around for a long time doing some general window shopping plus bag scouting on my part. lunch at 'swensons' where we underestimated the amount of food we ordered but mmmm it was good. then more dittering at the 'zinc' shop and as ying said, we were doing the exact same thing this time last year. hahas, thanks for tolerating all my indecisiveness and nonsensical ks-ism.

okay so i have more rubbish to add but ive been tasked to go fool around in photoshop again so that's all. and that reminds me, i want to change my blogskin again! need something simpler. this year is a time for simplifying everything, life's too complicated as it is. oh and i changed my wallet to a much plainer one, no more conical studs but it's lime green with hot pink insides. awesome yeah. oh and ahhh i want to make a tumbler cover for myself. gosh i have nothing inside the slot now and i feel weird when i drink from it cause ppl can see the water moving down and it just feels very awkward. i don't know why but it makes me feel very embarrassed hahahaha. oh wells, since bio review test is on friday (hooray!) i have time to go come up with a black and white one. gah, my mum refuses to buy ink because she says it's expensive :(

oh and random but i like the new starbucks logo!

ok off to be a little geeky again, tata :D

the fine line between genders

wheeee we finished our ultimate banner for open house today, it's amazing how fast it was done. then again, it was mostly spamming of black paint and it looks so pretty even though the people all have weird oversized calves. and teehee, in the end we actually did have a girl sky the guy, how awesome :D

oh and eeps, the holidays are ending super duper soon and dammit that really sucks. i don't think i can go back to whole repetitive process of school and my time table is all foreign. plus a possible h3 too and project odd which we must reallllyyyyyy start soon. that one will take up a lot of time sigh. the school year hasn't even started and i already have so much work backlogged. damnnnnn.

okay anyway this is a random post because i'm avoiding having to decide between staying up to do work and sleeping then waking up early instead. but this is strangely my more productive period of time in the day and i'm just procrastinating again D:

oh and okay, random trivia: Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13 :O and looky, there's a "kai" in it! lol ok sorry i'm procrastinating and i do strange things like this. and the "kai" just means "and" in greek according to wikipedia awwww.

ahh peas in a pod hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok that was even more random. but oh damn the peas may start mutating nooooooo~ and lol probably only yingsiu would understand what i'm going on about.

and holyshit my sis had "the kite runner" all along and i could have just read that for the book review instead of struggling through "brave new world" and since i'm only at page 70 after a week, it hasn't been a particularly successful struggle. time to give up on a losing battle and chiong kite runner!

and this is a really really really random post. tada~! lol ok i'm weirdly high, especially since i got scolded/nagged at for coming home late but i think my mum just doesn't have the kind of anger stamina to be pissed at me so after two short rants on the phone she just ran out of steam. i guess it's just the way it is with things like this. like... she wants me home not too late, i end up late, she scolds me, i actually don't try to start an argument (unlike a certain other person), she thinks i'm suitably chastised, we move on. works out fine for us both since i don't start avoiding her calls and she doesn't start demanding i get home before the sun sets everyday.

and ok after all this random rambling i have decided... to do a little work T.T

with your words like knives; and swords and weapons that you use against me

today was generally a good day, though sometimes i think i'll be a lot happier if i just slept earlier. and it's not the sleep that will help, just the not staying awake.

anyway general recap, dinner with thirteeners at beautyworld on 30th and lunch with them again at plaza sing on the 1st were good. it's nice to be with people who already know you, the comfort of familiar ground i guess.

the last day of the year was kinda nice, though it ended on a semi-sour mood since we started arguing on the way home. didn't have a countdown but neighbours did and... oh forget it i can't bring myself to write about it here because it feels too... exposed and i'm the kind who'd rather add salt to my wounds in private. so moving on...

today was nice, had bbq for dinner and finally got to have some alone time to laze around and i felt a lot better until... awhile ago. i miss my metaphorical rock a lot. i think i just don't like having responsibilities. school hasn't even started and it already feels as if there's always something someone needs me to do that i haven't and god i don't even want to think about my work.

ok no more random rambling. tata.

"It’s easy to be miserable. Being happy is tougher — and cooler."
-Thom Yorke

these are our glory days

happy new year everyone!
and i don't know about you, but i'm going to try my best to make this new year a happy one; time won't stop just cause you're sad so don't waste your days of being young and reckless, they don't last forever.

blind; but not for the reasons you'd think

i'm learning to be grateful for even the smallest things.

holyasdfshit

this is unfair.
why were my pups never that fluffy D:
i feel like i missed out on some amazing part of their growing up!

it ish me, the omnomnomagon!

today seems to be a day for bad grammar and spelling :/

omnomnomagon says:
lol
zzz i just misspelt a lot of word
and is there only 1 s in mispelt?
ying hui says:
ummmm
i think there are two
omnomnomagon says:
eww
i just pealed
this giant flake of dead skin
off my elbow
ying hui says:
PEELED
omnomnomagon says:
oh
damn

and for being gross too i guess. and damn, my elbow really is molting. ewwwwwww.

and i have recently discovered a love for starbucks' dark mocha! its awesomeeeeee~ and i used up 3 packets of jam for my waffles today; ah waffffleeeeesssss and jammmmmmm *inserts smug satisfied face*

and today i was reminded of why i do not like bugis street. bleargh.

and i wonder, if i change my msn nick would i stop feeling hungry all the time...
nah :D gah i give up i will go find something to devour and wow it's been awhile since i did random frivolous posts like this. teehee, i must be in a good mood. either that or all the sugar i ate today is sending me into a random high; its kinda nice -- all the more reason to go snack ;D

oh and i forgot, hello my fellow waffle-loving friend! it's been awhile since anyone except boring old me used this space, so come post more please!

hello hello!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU KAI ^^

you're very awesome.

love, the one who loves waffles as much as you do.

fishtail braids

okay so this post is as random as the title and photo above, but i just felt like sharing some quotes that i can really relate to or i feel explain some amazingly complex thought in an amazingly understandable way.

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here."
-Richard Dawkins

"As I grow older, much older, I will experience many things, and I will hit rock bottom again and again. Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won’t let my spirit be destroyed."
-Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first."
-Jim Morrison

"One had to expect very little-almost nothing-from life, Aaron knew, one had to be grateful, not always trying to seize the days like some maniac of living, but to give oneself up, be seized by the days, the months and years, be taken up in the froth of sun and moon, some pale and smoothie-ed river-cloud of life, a long, drawn-out, gray sort of enlightenment, so that when it was time to die, one did not scream swear words and knock things down, did not make a scene, but went easily with understanding and tact, and quietly in a lightly pummeled way, having been consoled—having allowed to be consoled—by the soft, generous, worthlessness of it all, having allowed to be massaged by the daily beating of life, instead of just beaten."
-Bed by Tao Lin

dreamcatchers

hello and merry christmas folks. i guess i have a lot to update but i'm too lazy again and it's 2am. anyway, so today, meaning the 24th since i have yet to sleep and i wonder why, basically went out with some of the frisbee peeps and played pool and bowling and then went for the usual christmas party at uncle's house.

so the whole day alone has left me with a lot of things to muse on, plus some things that popped up randomly while i was in the shower, but again, too much to write about now. maybe i'll sit down and reflect on them some other time... lol yes, reflect, and voluntarily too.

so yeah... things that i need to learn to get over and accept and not be ashamed of; remembering that there will always be people who look down on you and will never accept you for who you are but yet its not worth it to change for them because you are who you are and always stay true to yourself because few others will stay true to you; there's nothing wrong with being invisible; what would it be like if i met myself and we would probably never bother to become friends but if we ever did it'd be amazing; people always say we should choose the right friends but that's stupid cause in the end we're just surrounding ourselves with people we already like and we'll never learn to accept others for their differences; how do we and should we hold on to friends when life pushes us in different directions; i'm a terrible friend; i rarely have any expectations in life and does that make me too easily contented or is it okay to just be happy with a simple mundane life that some other people might very well consider pathetic... and more but i need to sleep my brain is being overworked. i can practically imagine all the random muses jumping from synapse to synapse and something's going to combust soon.

and i bought a dreamcatcher for myself today :D it's so beautiful. its the third one that's hanging in my room but i can't get over them. there's just something about that combination of beads, feathers and weaving that calls out to me and just seems to make me feel better and more light-hearted. and they put lots of wonderful images in my head but nvm, i'm not going to write about that because somehow it just feels too personal and it makes me uncomfortable. and wow, a topic that makes me uncomfortable lol. and even though i've said it already, my new big-ass dreamcatcher is amazing, though i almost bought some mega-ass one but i shall continue lusting over the giga-ass one because even if i do get it one day i'll have no where left to put such an amazing work of art.

tis the season to be happy

stupid bloody cycle

or just being plain retarded :/
---
sometimes i feel as if i'm just bursting with things to say,
but then i'm just too tired to say it.
need to work on that sleeping thing.
---
this sucks. big time.
i was feeling all fine and dandy before this random onslaught of sadness hit me;
i don't even remember why i felt sad, except that earlier today i shelved it away with a,
"deal with it later when you're alone"
and now i'm just being irrationally sad,
and affecting other people with my misery.
i really need some time with the pillow.

the passed week :D

and as we lie beneath the stars; we realize how small we are

wow, has it really been so long since i last posted? time sure flies :/

i realised that at the end of this year, i won't have much to show for the days and nights that are now long gone. no fantastic grades, no amazing achievements, etc etc. but strangely enough, i'm happy. if i had to go through this whole year of ups and downs again, i would because i like where i am now. as a student, i have nothing to my name. but as just another girl growing up, another human being, i never want to lose what i have now. it's not something that can be shown, written down or measured but it's the kind of thing that makes me smile for no reason at all. it keeps me laughing; it makes me believe again.

in the end, i'm grateful for all the people who have been there for me; i only hope that i was there for you too.

and as they say, a life is meant to be lived; i'm going to relish every moment of it.

melodrama; take two

honestly, i'm not particularly sad or depressed but i'm bored :/ well i wasn't particularly bored since i was reading a really fascinating book, where this guy straps his victim to a table with a mirror above for them to see themselves and proceeds to cut off everything on the body leaving behind a completely bald head attached to just a block of torso with nothing else whatsoever. oh the eyelids, teeth and tongue are gone too. and he actually does it bit by bit, in no order whatsoever, so sometimes he removes the hands and feet before moving up to elbow and knee etc. fascinating right? and all this while playing hangman with the poor dude being dismembered. so in the end you have this... potato with a head, who happens to still be alive and can only make high keening noises with crazed eyes that see nothing but horror and pain.

perfect for brightening your day eh? to think i was reading this before training, no wonder i was a little nuts today. but anyway, the book ended. and now i'm bored. and i feel obliged to have another one of my wallow-in-self-pity posts, since my posts have been rather brief and cryptic so far. and because i need to keep a friend entertained ;)

so... i was thinking about something just now. and now i don't remember. oops.

nvm. i shall just consider some deep meaningful issue to make sure that my grey matter hasn't packed up and left to visit more happening places.

so not too long ago i was having the usual, who am i? identity crisis. well, obviously i'll never really know because the answer to that question is longer than the answer scheme for a 15mark bio free response question.

-cancels out long pointless rant that started to deviate into cashew nuts and oreos-

basically, i'd like to think that a person, this living breathing thing with arms and legs (unless they get sawed off of course) has enough depth of character that you can't define him/her in a few words. gosh, didn't english teachers always say flat characters make for a lousy story?

anyway, there are many facets of a person's personality. and i say facets and not facades. the fact that a person behaves differently around different people does not mean that one of those is just a fake or mask. it just means you're able to react to stimulus, and that is one of the characteristics of life fyi (all that bio has to be useful somehow). i mean even the ronald macdonald statue can do it. did you know, in phuket he does that palms flat together greeting the thai people all do; how cute :)

so yes, different situations bring out different sides of a person, like how a certain person can make me really vindictive and mean. but that said, i don't really think of myself as much of a bitch. not really anyway. it's a human thing to behave differently around different people. there's always the element of trust, in that how much of yourself you're willing to let others know. this doesn't mean you're pretending to be someone else (unless you actually are then shame on you you liar) it just means you're only letting a little bit of that amazing person inside to come out and play.

and damn this is getting long. i'm not sure where i'm going with all this but personally i just think people, myself included, should stop trying to stick a label on themselves, like hey i'm smart funny and totally awesome so come grovel at my feet. -cancels out a lot of unnecessary swearing- what i'm trying to say is everyone is constantly changing and that's good. it's fine to stop and think, who am i now? look in the mirror, would you like the person you see? if you don't, there's still time to change it. that reflection won't always be the same, and it won't be the addition of new frown lines or a darkening of your skin.

the thing is, in the end you're not always going to be the person you are now, so don't waste too much time fretting about your identity, or lack of it in my case, and just hang on and enjoy the ride. you'll find out more about yourself as you go on in life. thinking about it all the time won't make much of a difference anyway, because as the personality tests all say, your perceived self isn't always the same as your true self. you'll only find out the person you really are when you find yourself in a new experience and completely unsure of what you'll do next.

that's the beauty of life; and cliched as it is, carpe diem my friends.

---

okay i am back because i am still bored and avoiding having to get out of my chair. so i am a chair potato, sue me. anyway, because i spend too much of my time browsing random sites, it's time to spam some quotes.

"There are so many things that will never happen to me again, and I never noticed when those things stopped occurring. And it does not mean I wish I had my old life back, because I like my new life better; I was just shocked to discover how much of what used to be central to my existence doesn’t even matter to me anymore."
-Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman

"Remembering our past, carrying it with us always, may be the necessary requirement for maintaining, as they say, the wholeness of the self. To ensure that the self doesn’t shrink, to see that it holds on to its volume, memories have to be watered like potted flowers, and the watering calls for regular contact with the witnesses of the past, that is to say, with friends. They are our mirror; our memory; we ask nothing of them but that they polish the mirror from time to time so we can look at ourselves in it."
-Identity by Milan Kundera

"Look, it’s not that they hate each other. Or that apathy has replaced love. You can’t measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange. It’s just that their heads are empty. It might even be out of tact that they’re refusing to talk, if they’ve got nothing to say."
-Identity by Milan Kundera

"When you are young, you always expect that the world is going to end. And then you get older and the world still chugs along and you are forced to re-evaluate your stance on the apocalypse as well as your own relationship to time and death. You realize that the world will indeed continue, with or without you, and the pictures you see in your head. So you try to understand the pictures instead."
-Life After God by Douglas Coupland

and this just might be my longest post ever. wow. and i realised i seem to have a problem deciphering the fine line between hunger and boredom :/

yoohoooooo~

hello world i am back to join in all the mindless computer-screen staring ;D

;D

i will sleep!

another one of those self-destructive nights

wow wow wow

amazing day yesterday. i'm going to be selfish and not share :D
and omg lol i can't believe i took the mrt in the wrong direction.

wow. it's friday already?!!

:D

never easy; never easy

today was generally a good busy day, spent doing things and not thinking about things. its nice to be in the company of friends and more.

"Weren’t we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of the neighbor’s children?"
- Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay

today was a day for dust and disaster

"If any film doesn’t need a gimmick, it’s these ones, and that’s for me what 3D is. For me, 3D adds nothing to the story. “Avatar”, sure, it looked amazing, but not more amazing than “Inception”, and I thought about “Inception” for so much longer because it was a better film, because it was a more interesting film. And I don’t think that technology is a substitute for story, which I think is how 3D can sometimes be used."

- Daniel Radcliffe

i wish i could say something smart but honestly, ive never watched a 3D movie nor inception. which really sucks. like really D:

and gosh, i threw out so much thrash today and my room still looks a mess. what am i supposed to do with all the brand new TYS that ny made us buy?! and i found my kindergarten stuff, gosh i was so cute hahahaha. and my maid very tactlessly wondered, "what happened to your eyes, they were so big last time!".

meh. and something has been gnawing on my crayons ]:

anyway this post is kinda random, i just didn't want to have that depressing post right on top :/

Di gantseh velt iz ful mit shaidim; treib zai chotsh fun zich arois.

hell, my head is a huge mess of disjointed thoughts right now. its making me very upset yet not upset. i don't know. i'm lost trying to figure my way through this. where do i start?
---
how am i ever going to make the big choices for myself? i've never had to.
they opted for gep.
they chose my gep primary school.
they chose my secondary school and consequently, jc.
so here i am now.
i didn't want any of that.
should i?
it's hard to have a opinion when, your whole life, no one ever gave a damn about it.
god, what do i want?
---
somehow i'm not upset that i essentially lack a personality.

i just feel sort of empty inside. i don't know, it's been a long time since i felt anything strongly.
happiness is good, it makes me feel human. insecurity, loneliness, shame, guilt, angst, fear; god it's amazing to feel something. fear is good; avoiding it, fearing it, drowning in it, embracing it, courting it.

realise anger isn't in the list? i can't remember what real anger feels like. not the kind that makes you swear and curse, but the kind that makes you hate the person who angered you so badly that you lose the ability to think logically and surrender yourself to destructive behaviour on everything and everyone around you. good riddance i say, i've had enough of that for one lifetime.

but whatever happened to it? i don't know, though i guess sometimes, when you have such low expectations of the world and the people in it, it becomes so easy to rationalize away every indignity and cruel act as another failing of a species you never had much faith in from the start. how do you get angry at something you expected? (god, not only do i have to deal with nonsensical musings, i have to work out overlong run-on sentences too.)

do you see why i'm confused yet? actually, i'm probably just dysfunctional. and i probably just don't like anger much; i guess if it were possible to delete an emotion from the human emotional range i probably just did the equivalent somewhere along the way.

damn am i lost. and this song is playing too quickly. how do people speak so fast?!
---
oh another chunk of the mess surfaced. but wth, i'm too lazy to sort it out. it can go stuff itself up its metaphorical ass for all i care.

"That’s the thing I want to make clear about depression: It’s got nothing at all to do with life. In the course of life, there is sadness and pain and sorror, all of which, in their right time and season, are normal—unpleasant, but normal. Depression is an altogether different zone because it involves a complete absence: absence of affect, absence of feeling, absence of response, absence of interest. The pain you feel in the course of a major clinical depression is an attempt on nature’s part (nature, after all, abhors a vacuum) to fill up the empty space. But for all intents and purposes, the deeply depressed are just the walking, waking dead."

Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
---
oh and please, don't freak out if you actually happen to read this. we all have our scars and ugly sides. i just tend to like documenting mine so i can scoff at my melodrama later. take it with a pinch of salt and a good box of popcorn; join me in enjoying the show. it's nice to watch myself crash sometimes. my com doesn't need a reason to do so, so why should i? anyway yes, what? sorry i lost myself. i'm not usually this disgustingly mopey and absent-minded.

anyway i should just sleep soon. i can't wait for my normal cheery mentality to come back. c'mon, knock these suckers out of my head.

The whole world is full of demons; you just exorcise them out of yourself.

cause when it gets dark

hahaha qianwen just reminded me i had to share this with all of you!
it's so beautiful;
MJ ♥

when i'm not myself

deep in our hearts we all know what's the right thing to do,
but we still look to others for advice.

---

gosh i'm in one of my moods again and i sure am brooding up a storm. but that's good i guess, cause it'll blow over soon and tomorrow i can be silly again.

bum and bummer

i love how the thisisit poster and guitarhero drumset still look normal, teehee.
gosh, i'm bored already.

what will that be?

i've been told that my recent posts gave a certain impression;
i'm scared it's true.

let's be adventurous

oh man, there's too much good food in this world. screw the flu/sore throat/cough/headache (technically they all just fall under the category of flu i think). anyway, yes, food. oh god, the idea of it is tonguegasmic.

and pardon me if i sound slightly hysterical, i've been looking at food porn for the last couple of hours.

heaven smells like waffles and books

my not-so-closet romantic would like to share:
"The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss." - Dean Koontz, Odd Hours

now back to finding out what the guy's gonna do with a whole bunch of dead bodies and radioactive material.

oh and yes, apollo outing was fun, though there was waaayyyy too much shirt-stripping. played frisbee and watched very funny games. and saw her get washed away in a giant gush of water. heh heh, cues nasty grin. i'm sorry, but she happens to be the only person i've ever met to bring out this nasty side in me.

right. book. fucking throat $@#%#!*#$&!#

the day after

today was great but i don't really feel like blogging about it. but thank you for the great day, for letting me do the silly embarrassing things that make life real.

and i guess jc1 officially ended yesterday for me. what a year; i'm not going to describe it because there aren't enough words to capture all 287 days. well, i obviously have not achieved any of my new year resolutions, and damn i can't believe i was so hopeful about 2010. not that i'm disappointed, but just surprised at how different it turned out from my expectations.

i am now blacker, heavier, lazier, and bored. unfortunately i've yet to grow taller, but some things just never change. and i'm not actually bored per se, just lacking something/someone(?) that i will wake up for everyday.

still, there's a lot more to be grateful for. you 4 especially; you know who you are :) and the class, even though sometimes its almost as if you all study too much and eat too little. and the frisbee team, from the hilarious seniors to the awesome batchmates.

sure, there were some depressing times this year, but i can't imagine it any other way.

in the end, there's no point regretting or wanting to change things. i'm just glad whatever happened happened. the good has to come with the bad, and i'd take the bad if it lets me have the good too. that sounds so cliched, especially if you consider all those quotes about love and not being sad it ended but being glad that it happened etc etc. oh, there goes that closet romantic in me again. the keyboard makes it way too easy to ramble on.

so tata, i shall strive to make best use of this brief respite otherwise known as holidays.

ps. thank you jkrowling for sharing such an amazing world with us. i may not agree with what you did with some of the characters, but hey there's fanfic for that, and i don't think my life would have been complete without ever having read about hogwarts potion masters.

"We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity."
-Paulo Coelho

TOLULU!

oh god. op's tmr. T.O.M.O.R.R.O.W!! 5mins of shamelessly spouting memorised crap followed by more spontaneous crapping. and then... NO MORE PW OMGOMGOMGZOMG.

okay this is getting kinda hysterical :/

and i can't remember why i wanted to blog. oh yes. i've found something to do while all the good friends are off doing big things. i'm gonna... wait for it... make more blogskins hahaha. ok sorry anticlimatic. but i can't imagine how i managed to survive for so long without skinning. oh wait i know. i had frisbee. i can die happy now. as long as i can take my disk with me :D

anyway yes, i can't wait to go back to the days of css frustrations and photoshop headaches. i'm so excited the proverbial hands are rubbing in glee. and okay, no one probably gets what so great about it. i'm not sure too; just take it as my contribution to this giant black hole known as the internet.

but first, i gotta make sure i don't screw up my op. damn.

2 more days

i think i've gotten too lazy to write my own posts.
ah wells, one of my melancholic days will come eventually.
and i just realised this new skin makes it harder for certain people to stalk my friends :3

because i choose to be happy

And when I close my eyes tonight

finally, a new skin.
it's so... minimalist.
(read: lazy)
and it's so white.
i can't get over how white it is.
i can't believe i didn't do this earlier.

i need to stop spamming this place

it's usually the same few people online at this time.
i really wonder what they're staying up for :3

it's not the time to breakdown

bloody hell i can't stand this skin.
i need to make a new one soon;
i can't believe i've been using this one for 11 months!
the horror!

take time to realise

songs today really just don't compare.
---
go whip your hair in silence please.

today i am a unicorn

oh wow, that's fast!
it's Halloween folks ;D

when we break the dawn

gee i slept for about 13 hours; it feels amazing :D should totally do this more often.

and goshhh major experiment fail. it was a lost cause the moment i started. not meant to be, i love my food too much. and oh damn, i suspect i'm heavier than at least half the frisbee team, guys included D:

oh wells, from this point onwards i will think of nothing but pw!
...
right, another lost cause.

on a random side note, i reaslied that there's a certain pleasure in reading stories from the bad guy's point of view. i mean, enough with the hero saving the day. how about a story where evil prevails and we cheer as the last fighter of the light side is slashed apart with his entrails spilling out? or children playing at soldiers are butchered to make way for a new world order? i wonder if this indicates a certain lack of moral scruples on my part. i mean i know what the character is doing is immoral, but i find it hard to disagree with such actions. i guess that fine line between right and wrong has blurred away to nonexistence :/

my age is catching up on me

i think i should buy a really large bag just in case this ever happens :/

welcome to the family

it's that amazing time of the year again ;)
and no i'm not keeping all of them; the first pair on the right is up for sale, even though all i want to do is hang them from my ceiling and admire them every night before i go to bed.

gorgeous, aren't they?

i'm not sure who scares me more

i can't do this anymore

terrible. terrible. SO TERRIBLE!!

heh melodrama feels good :)

AHHH IT BURNS

holybananashit my eyelids are peeling. this is disgusting. (grah okay i've learnt my lesson i'm gonna start using sunblock or something; now annoying sunburn begone)

molting skin aside, FOS was fun, though i'm not sure if i regret playing ultimate frisbee. i mean i love the game but i'll always be able to play it but when will i ever have the chance to wade around swimming pools and launch flying circular projectiles or violently swing sticks about while body slamming every other person.

same thing with the sabbaticals. dance was fun, but hey i should have tried something unsual, like clay target shooting or some useful something for kicking/savingmyown-ass. that more or less sums up the choices i opted for after the dance sabbatical. oh well, opportunities are wasted everyday. moving onnnnn......

and oh man tom cruise is oldddddddddddddd. hahaha my mum thinks he's gotten fat. i guess that's something that happens with growing old :/

oh and heh next two weeks shall be eye-opening with my randomly-decided-upon sorta a-day-in-their-shoes (or more like a-week-at-their-breakfastlunchdinner-tables) experiments. annnnndddd that made no sense. actually no it made a lot of sense.

i wonder what's the melting point of brain matter :/ or does it sublime? zzz spontaneous combustion; how messy.

and my sis has more shopping time than me D: sighhhhhhh the perks of being young T.T nvm, i will go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculously useless things once my skin stops hurting like something nasty.

now, i need to lower the temperature of this room to below 31degreescelsius.

beached whale

ahh i had the most epic dream this morning; harry potter vs draco malfoy in a pokemon battle! HAHAHA. i don't remember what happened exactly, but i know harry won and of the pokemon he used, two were totodile and pinsir.

so random :/ it's probably due to what we did on friday after promos, playing pokemon monopoly at jen's house. and gah don't laugh, we're just domesticated weirdos. oh and yes, extremely boring post ahead consisting mostly of me complaining at being exploited by scheming yings who hide their money and too-smart jens who likes monopolising the board.

me and zinc being especially grateful for landing in jail.

all thanks to jen and her scary empire, ying wasn't so lucky but i ended up being the biggest joke -.-


so much property but couldn't build any thing thanks to jen again T.T

imagine my joy when i stole jen's mr mime to complete my set with kakabra and venomoth only to end up getting sent to my doom where i went spontaneously bankrupt for the... 5th time? i paid like 5k+ to ying and jen for landing in their property and it was terribleeeee.

but it was fun. yes, random post and fond memories. oh and don't mind the weird colouring, i was testing out new apps on my phone :D

mymidnightmuses

oh wells, promos were massively fucked up.

but they're over and that's what matters; until they come back of course but i'll deal with that when it happens.

best thing is, i'm expecting an influx of amazing things to stick my feet into, other than my mouth and other people's business.

i predict a new look for this place, and a new place for all my vulgar and excessive ranting.

"i'm not afraid... to take exams..."

@$#^*!@%^@#$!&^*!

oh bloody hell.
I'M NOT READY FOR THIS NOOOOOO!!