Guitar Hero ! Woots !

i am soooooo not a morning person. anyway, my mum brought me and my sis to cut our hair today. and i just wanted a trim, like a little bit, and the guy said he'd cut 1 inch. but you know what? HE LIED. he just hacked off like what, three bloody inches and now my hair is so bloody short. it still can tie, duh, or i'd have killed someone by now, but it's as short as at the start of the year. i can't believe it. a WHOLE YEAR of letting my hair grow, and it's all gone in a matter of minutes. my goddddd.

right, now that i've climbed out of the spiralling depths of depression, i shall pull an extended analogy from legally blonde. "there is one important thing that everyone should care about... my hair. this hairstylist gave me an awful haircut, but it was my fault. i didn't get involved in the process, i just let it happen. i didn't stop him, i just let him hack away at my hair. so everyone, make a stand, have a voice."

ok i don't think anyone who hasn't watched the movie would understand that, cause i seriously reworded it and messed it up and all. but the point is, speak your mind and be heard. oh and do remember to leave a tag :D



so random crap aside, i played my first game of guitar hero today ! and it was really cool. well i kinda suck, but hey, first-timer, cut me a little slack here. i can't seem to coordinate my fingers for the guitar thing, so me and sis ended up messing with the drums while my dad figured out the guitar. and us being a non-musical family, ah the poor neighbours. sorry dom! :D (though i don't think you would have heard us, seeing as my mum was shushing us nonstop) but who knew a little white box called Wii could be so fun. and for some reason, that almost sounds like a sexual innuedo. heehee.

oh and there was this really nice christmas song playing in some shop, but i have no idea what it was! it was a male singer, and the lyrics had something about christmas (duh) being special and something about children and old folks. gah. let's hope i hear it again somewhere.

imperfect.
chaotic.
that's just how life is,
but we live it anyway.

whoopsie

so, it's another ordinary wasted day. sigh, i need to do something with myself. and ying flew to hong kong today. let's hope she does a lot of shopping and buys some stuff for her friends :D but i think like 3 of my friends are going to hong kong this holiday, and i've never even been there. grrrrr. ah well, shopping in singapore is still ok.

but in the meantime, i've started reading yet another snarry fanfic ;) this one has a depressed harry and mysterious snape and so far, it's ok. though i don't think i should talk about gay fanfic, cause according to jen, it's disturbing :(

oh and the water pipe in the front yard broke today, so water was spurting everywhere and my maid had to turn off the maid water supply. then after she turned it back on, slightly muddy water was coming out of the taps. my maid wanted to just let the water run but it made me kinda guilty to waste water like that. so i took a cup and made several trips back and forth to water the plants. but being the easily distracted person i am, i almost watered the christmas tree :X

whoopsie. but all's fine, except for the fact that i'm still coughing, and i shall go back to reading fanfic. ciao :D

When one door of happiness closes,
another opens.
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one
which has just opened for us.

FINALLY, I'M DONE

gods, it took forever to make this skin. like i started in late september , then silas crashed, then i had exams, then i had after exams stuff, then i had that 3weeks shanghai trip and now... finally. and you know what? THE SKIN'S SO DAMN GROSS. gah, i can't stand it that it's black base. but still... i couldn't stand the other skin either so bah! at least this one features relatively hot guys ;)

sigh. i think when my stupid cold recovers, i will make a better one for myself. and speaking of my cold, it sucks! i woke up and had freakin conjunctivitis or something like that and it was so creepy cause my eye was all red o.O gahhh. and now that it's night, my cough decided that it was bored and im going about spasming. bah!

ok, not really in the mood to blog so... kapeesh. oh and i decided to bestow my blog with an auto play song, so... don't get irritated to death too fast ;)

Age is just a measurement
of how long we've existed in the world.
That means you can still be immature
when you're 160 years old.

BLOODY TOOTHACHE !

arghhh. IT HURTS !!! it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurtttt !!!

hell, its hard to lie to yourself when you cant even say it outloud (cause if you do, you end up honking your nose into a tissue or coughing your tonsils out). sigh, life is unfair.

but anyway, bodily trauma aside, i've found an amazing treasure trove with a shit load of amazing snarrys. yay for good fanfiction ! :D and of course, i spent my entire day (or what was left of it after i woke up so late) reading this brilliiiiaaantttt snarry. it was really good, especially since someone did fanart for it and the fanart was drop dead perfect. so adios skinningggg, and helloooooo fanfiction. oh yeah ;)

but of course, since this skin is getting under my skin (ignore the poor pun in crutches), i'm gonna have to change it. somehow. actually, i have this simple plan skin lined up, but it just doesnt feel right. the image so far... is passable, but the css is driving me nuts cause i just can't get it right. urghhh. the codes look downright ugly. sigh, im having nooblet depression.

ah well, i'll finish it up, sooner or later, and i'm gonna retire from skinning. maybe i should take up another hobby... like sleeping :D (and maybe i'll grow taller !)

oh and i'm not gonna talk about shanghai, unless anyone is actually interested. cause if i'll bore myself to death retelling the whole thing, i'll probably bore whoever actually reads my rants to infinity and beyond (does that retarded buzz light year thing).

urgh. toothache. you're outstaying my hospitality. away with you! begone! vamoose! disappear! vanish! (O2, lol) -.-

oh yeah. why on silas' extremely dirty keyboard earth does the disk space on my c drive flunctuate like mad? it's been going up and down and i spent a hell lot of time fiddling with the command prompt and system restore stuff. well, ok so the difference is not a lot, and if it were a wave the amplitude would be kinda small, but when you only have a two digit amount of free space (in megabytes), 300MB is a lot of difference. gah, silas you're having mood swings.

and now that my stupid frizzing hair is almost dry, i can end this infernal trabble and go to sleep. hmms, i really should bathe earlier.

(eeps, last year in nanyang next year :X)

expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian.

HOME SWEET HOME !

yay! i'm BACCCCKKKK :D and mygosh, it's so HOT WARM. but at least it's not cold, so yeah. anyway, i'm feeling a little lazy to post so... i'll rant about the trip tomorrow. and you have no idea how HAPPY i am to finally see silas again. like after 21 days...

OH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH SILAS !

and i've got new chairs, heh heh. i think my parents figured that what with my record of breaking chairs, they should get more than one. so now, i have this big reddish one and a less... obnoxious black one.

oh and now that the air isn't trying to freeze my tonsils out, i'm hoping my sore throat and flu will go away fast. and i need to soak my feet. i have this vague feeling that they stink, but what with my blocked nose, i can't actually smell them to check. ackk, i need to stop ranting and go bathe.

so, ta ta for now.

stupid, i know
but some part of me still hoped you'd come back
if only just to welcome me home
for one last time

THREE WEEKS IN SHANGHAI !

eeeee. in like around 4 hours time i'll have to wake up to go the airport. which reallyyyyy sucks. but omgosh, SHANGHAI! and i'm not bringing silas. ah, it tears my heart apart just to think of it.

three weeks without silas! what would i do?! and no silas probably means no or minimal fanfiction. which is really bad as well. and my bright orange luggage can't seem to close properly. i'm damn scared it'll burst. but i'm even more scared of getting robbed or mugged or what you call it.

hehs, i suppose that's why the school arranged that self-defence session for us. but it was only one hour, which was hardly helpful at all. we basically learnt how to push people, which i suppose is kinda useful, if that person going after you is like a locomotor idiot. oh and if he's not carrying some giant butcher knife or something.

but back to shanghai. THREE WEEKS! three bloody weeks to freeze my fat butt off. gah, i'll miss my dogs... and prince too, impossible to believe as it is. and cause my luggage is so full, i cant bring pig, sheep nor dog.

and to make things worse, i have this stupid sore throat thats burns real bad. bah! and according to some site, i'll have to wait 5 to 7 days for it to recover. if it doesn't, that means i'm in deep deep deep shit. on the good side, people can't laugh at my utterly horrible chinese cause i can't even talk. yeah ;)

heh. me and zinc are gonna drink lotsa tea while we're at china. i hope that helps my stupid sore throat. but there's gonna be so little shopping, which just makes me really... depressed. and i'm gonna wrap myself up like a giant dumpling in dunno how many layers of clothes, which makes me even more depressed.

gah. guess it's time to sleep. will probably post again... in three weeks time.

( ahhh i can't bear to end this post cause that means i'll have to part with silas D: )

nothing is forever. forever is a lie.
all we have is what's between hello and goodbye.

PICK UP LITTER, YO

sigh. i've got a sore throat. again. i'm just hoping i don't lose my voice (again!) because shanghai is in... 2 days. and oh shit, i haven't finished packing. i'm barely halfway through :(

anyway, we went to pick up litter at east coast park today. which was ok, though it was kinda gross. but the main point is, singaporeans should smoke less. there were a hell lot of cigarette buds all over the place. (and bea found condoms :O) so after lots of hard work ;) , we had a break and pigged out a little before playing random games. like concentration, which we also played during lunch with ms chee :D

then after that went back to class and lazed about while watching youtube videos. oh and i collected my spare pair spectacles today. they feel... weird. like kinda small. zzz, big head -.-

and that's all for now, cause i'm gonna try to so some packing. oh and salad making tomorrow. that, i can probably eat even though i have a sore throat. (unlike the cookies ying is planning to teach me to bake at her house).

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"happy."

more fangirling !

hehs. i guess i've gotten bitten by the kpop bug. but anyway, they are kinda hot, aren't they? i'm not sure what's their proper name, cause they apparently have a few, but what the heck, i'll stick to dbsk. or maybe tvxq. bah, all that lost in translation stuff.

i actually saw that mv on tv and i was like, "omg, they're good." though it would be nice to understand what i was listening to but hey, only an idiot would say no to eye candy like that ;)

Ohhh, if there’s one thing I hang onto,
It gets me through the night.
I aint gonna do what I don’t want to,
Im gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.

-bon jovi

The Panther

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly--. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.

Rainer Maria Rilke

B I G B A D W O R L D

it's a big bad world
we're doing what we can
sometimes we fall on our face
before we even learn to stand
but we get back up
shake off all the dust
and take it step by step

i can fill the whole floor to the ceiling
with all the dead wrong choices ive made
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again (doing it again)
we'll do it again my friend (doing it again)
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

it's a big bad dream
following your heart
sometimes the one you
need's the one that tears you apart
so you say goodbye
kiss her one more time
and cry the whole way home

i can fill up the driest river
with all the tears falling off of my face
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

just running 'round in circles
tripping over every hurdle
we're just trying to do the best that we can

it's a big bad life
all that we can do
is try to make it right
tomorrow something new
so if a big rain cloud
follows you around
dont let it get you down

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

we do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way it's always been

S H O P P I N G !

whee! i just beat silas at a game of chess :D but anw, before i rant about me and ying's shopping trip today, i shall complain about how my feet are aching like shit.

right, they hurt! oh and the teenage november issue is using SHABBYPRINCESS resources in their articles. like... phooey. and i thought shabby princess stuff can't be used for commercial purposes. blah! hmms, i wonder if cud start charging people for skins like beyondwords. then i would have money to go SHOPPINGGGG again :D

anyway, yes shopping. didn't really spend much today, cause i went shopping on saturday and sunday too. heh heh. so basically ying made me wake up so early (D:) and we had lunch at eunos then went to orchard. then wandered around all those scary high end shops being too poor to afford anything :(

after orchard we went to bugis, where we bought oreo and marshmallows yoghurt (L) after wandering about the building thingy. and there was this very nice hoodie at... i'm not sure if it's bossini or giordano but yeah, nice hoodie! then me and ying ventured into bugis street and well, that place hurts my eyes. it's not the stuff, just that there's too many things. overwhelming, yeah? oh and poor ying, seeing all the shorts that were so much cheaper than the mango one that she bought but hey, at least you know it fits.

but it really is kinda sad, what with so many clothes made for skinny people. and omgosh, all those departmental stores dedicating whole levels to make up. beauty is being commercialised yo!

right, my feet still hurt. and i need to do my ipod design D: i think i've been ranting about that for like... months. but yeah, i sadly still havent gotten to doing it. procrastination 101, and all that shit. i need to finish that simple plan skin i started during the eoy period too. gah, so many things to do i hope my photoshop doesn't die on me.

some pursue happiness,
others create it.

BAH HEADACHE !

arghh. i feel extremely stupid, what with all the self inflicted pain and all. like this stupid annoying quiz is driving me mad and worsening my already horrible headache. oh but no worries, i'm not into self-injury or whattheshit like that.

oh just for your info, self-injury actually includes any form of physical harm done by yourself to your body that is serious enough to damage body tissue. oh and you do this in an attempt to, well, bri certain feelings or change your mood, etc. so no head-banging when you get royally pissed off by idiots ! and my god, never cut. it's a really stupid thing to do, honestly.

personally, i'm not too sure why some people choose to injure themselves. but it apparently makes them feel better. and according to this site, they do it cause it reduces the pain or whatever strong emotion they're feeling to a less overwhelming level. like "they feel this strong uncomfortable emotion, don't know how to handle it, and know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional discomfort extremely quickly".

oh but if you know someone who cuts or self-injures, don't blame them. cause it's just their form of coping, and it's more or less the same as those who drink themselves drunk (and into oblivion) to escape their problems. and self-injuring is their form of not killing themselves. rather contradictory i guess, but inflicting physical harm on themselves releases all the pent up emotion and reduces their urges towards suicide.

but self-harm is definitely not a good thing. there are other ways of releasing pent-up tensions and if necessary, get professional help or talk to a friend. cause god, cutting or whatever other forms of self-mutilation is just... foolish. and it's definitely not cool.

those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt,
but those who keep silent hurt more.

welcome home silas !

ah, today was a marvelous day ! firstly, EOYS ARE OVER. see that?

EOYS ARE OVER !!!!!

man, i can't believe it. no more exams for what... the rest of the year. ok so that's not very long, but still, better than nothing. anyway, after the math paper, me, jen, ying and pam waited two hours for zinc. (i'm still waiting for my cert of sainthood to arrive) but actually, i didn't really mind cause we went to coro and drank sugared water and then ate in school. then, we went to marina square to....

go BOWLING ! :D

hahas. haven't bowled for so long and i do weird things when i bowl but... yeah. my scores weren't that impressive, but i guess that's ok. like we played two games and i got around 100-120 which is actually quite good for a newb noob like me. oh and then me and pam attempted to moonwalk but that didn't work out, especially since i was in bowling shoes. and the cleaning uncle was staring at me like i was "a few fries short of a happy meal".

oh but ying's iphone went kapeesh on us (read: malfunctioned and wouldn't work) so after some window shopping, me and ying went to wheelock(spelt wrongly?) to see if it could be fixed and basically did a lot of walking and eating.

and then stopped at paya lebar on the way home to look for jeans. and when i got home... i was so freakin happy i started squealing and jumping about.

SILAS WAS BACK!

hehs. i can't believe how much i miss my laptop after what... 48 hours. sigh. I LOVE SILASSSS :D

right. i was actually planning on writing a more interesting post, but since i'm kinda distracted by the need to find a good fanfic, ciao !

PS. big thank yous to all those who have tagged. it makes me feel like i'm contributing to society (as the school puts it) when i know people are using my skins and all :)

PSS @ ???. thanks for the offer, but i'm staying celibate for severus ;)

When you look at a person,
any person, remember that
everyone has a story.
Everyone has gone through something
that has changed them.

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY

bah. i thought the weekend would never arrive. but it's FRIDAYYYYY~ and even though i just screwed my bio paper today, nothing can ruin a friday :D

and so, i'm sitting here eating my crystallized yoghurt and looking forward to next year's public holidays.

New Year's Day: 1 Jan (thu)
Chinese New Year: 26, 27 Jan (mon, tue)
Good Friday: 10 April (fri)
Labour Day: 1 May (fri)
Vesak Day: 9 May (sat)
National Day: 9 Aug (sun)
Hari Raya Puasa: 20 Sep (sun)
Deepavali: 15 Nov (sun)
Hari Raya Haji: 27 Nov (fri)
Christmas: 25 Dec (fri)

man, you gotta love 2009 :D

Don't wait for the perfect moment.
Make the moment perfect.

E O Y S

AHHHHHH. right. bio tomorrow and i don't know why i'm blogging but i guess that's cause i can't remember anything anymore so WHATS THE POINT OF MUGGING !

*breaks down*

oh and turns out, silas's graphic card failed. so i got my laptop back on... monday i think. then on wednesday it died again. so the lenovo service center person came by and collected silas. and then i got silas back again yesterday. guess what, his RAM died. so now silas is functioning on half his RAM. which is only 1GB, so he's kinda lagging. bah vista.

bah, so my dad went to harvey norman to get a new RAM, and it's next to me on the table now but i have no idea how to put it in. so on the table it stays :D oh and thank god for warranties, or my piggy bank wouldn't have survived sila's midlife crisis. so yes, silas is workingggggg and no money was involved. yay :D

ohhhh. and my dad bought another 4 years warranty for silas. i have no idea whether i should be indignant or not. like hey... i don't abuse my laptop k. but nvm, good healthcare for silas. it'll probably last till silas's dying beep. and as ying so kindly told me, i'll be 19 when the warranty ends. i highly doubt i'd be using silas. i mean, he'll be around, but more as a keepsake than for actual use.

ok.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

BIO EOY TOMORROW OR RATHER TODAY SINCE IT'S PASS 12.

sigh. it's times like these that i wish the school would have like a power outage or something. then school would be cancelled and the exam wouldn't be in 7+ hours time. BAH! the only reason i havent like died now is that i'm completely looking forward to AFTER exams. only 5 papers left!

There are two ways to look at life,
you can complain that roses have thorns
or you can be happy that thorns have roses

daddy long-legs

right-io. if you have no idea what daddy long legs are, they're just spiders with really long legs. well more or less. oh and they vibrate, apparently. which is what the daddy long legs on the corner of my desk is doing right now. it's been going for at least... 20mins. and i think its slowing down... hmms maybe not.

anw, according to wikipedia, the whole thing about daddy long legs being bloody poisonous except that their teeth cant pierce human skin is a bucketful of crap. and since i'm sitting here watching it vibrate, lets hope its true.

S I L A S ! ! !

sigh. i miss silas. and if you dont know who he is, he's the most wonderful person laptop in the world. i bet he's hotter than your laptop ;) anyway, i got the bloody scare of my life when i turned him on on wednesday morning and BAM. the screen suddenly went black when the desktop was loading up (like after signing in). it's like those cartoons thing, where the colour disappears from the corner and then theres this diamond shape of light before complete blackness. then after that, everytime i turned it on all i got was a big fat blank screen (but it was on, silas was doing his little humming thing).

man, i'm bloody attached to my laptop. so i sort of had a weird emotional breakdown and just stared at silas and started crying for no goddamn reason. it's like staring at a friend in coma i tell you, like you know his alive and still breathing, but hell he's just... in a coma. WAAAAAAAA !

so yeah, in the end my mum sent silas to the lenovo service centre thing. i hope silas recovers :X

and now i feel like i'm... cheating on silas in some weird twisted way. like i'm blogging on this other tiny laptop (my pinky can touch the L and my index finger can reach the A without straining at all. it's that small) and i normally blog on silas :(

and i bet you all think i'm mad/crazy/eccentric/insane/etc. but whattheheck. SILAS !

and it feels so weird, but i'm just not comfortable with this other laptop. i don't feel like reading fanfic or skinning cause it just isnt right. bah!

sigh. and i finished reading breaking dawn yesterday. sort of disappointed the volturi didn't choose to fight but anyway, i cant believe the series is over. guess theres always fanfiction... when silas is back.

and exams next week, but i somehow cant bring myself to care again. i feel sort of... drifty. like everything is happening but not really happening at the same time... i think i should sleep more.

but then i just end up missing christy. i miss having her take up all the blanket at night, about how i would wake up with cat hair on my face but not even care; sigh, i miss being able to hug her to sleep.

so wherever you are right now christy, it's been an amazing five years. i'll love you always.

Everyone says that love hurts.
That's simply not true.
Loneliness hurts,
rejection hurts,
losing someone hurts,
but love never hurts.

marshmallowwww !

bah! IH paper was horrible. like horrible horrible. like as horrible as not having internet access in my room! ok maybe even more horrible than that :O

yeahs, i completely blanked out when i got the paper, so it's more or less a DOOMED thing. and chinese... was hard. i think i might have wrote out of point, but then again, i wrote so little theres no point anyway.

right, lame.

anyway, i finally read a fanfic again, after like so freakin long. which is good :D

but my idiot of a sis wont let me have breaking dawn, so i can't finish the book. bah. talk about showing me paradise and then burning it down. and one of these days, i'm gonna figure out how to write text on my umbrella without it turning runny or being washed away. like its ok to walk in the rain when it's just a light drizzle, but when it's like shoes falling down from the sky, then it's just plain stupid. bah, what is it with men and masochism. so yes, one fine rainy day i am going to use my umbrella and i will proudly display the words i ain't got no y-chromosomes.

watching my sis do sit-ups
is like watching a marshmallow fold and recoil

random again

ok so i've wasted my entire day doing more or less nothing and i'm back to blogging again. zzz. but how i wish i was born like... earlier :( like maybe in the 60s 70s. mood rings and disco balls are all so fun. and my gosh, WHITE LION ! (L)

if i'd been alive in the 80s i would have died to go to one of their concerts. all the great rock music, tight pants, amazing guitar solos and guys with long hair ;)

white lion forever ! \m/

Has anyone heard the tales you tell
Or seen the scars you wear
Did anyone speak up when you fell
Does anybody care

Rise again little fighter
And let the world know the reason why
Shine again little fighter
And dont let 'em end the things you do

so utterly bored

rawr. i have nothing to do even though there's so much homework/mugging to do. anw, the fengshui or whatever in my house is seriously screwed.

my dad was playing virtual golf with the playstation last night. like one of those things where you swing this small contraption and the screen shows what happens. then my mum was reading scary books with titles like the everything guide to raising teenagers and so sexy so soon. which is seriously scarier than my dad swinging at imaginary balls.

a green umbrella is flying around in the front porch o.O

right so now i'm bored again... ok i shall rant about height. see, being tall is good cause you can wear long pants without having to fold the legs up. like that makes shopping and dressing up so much easier. also, people have a tendency to pat short people on the head. so, if you were like taller, you can do the patting (and whacking). (it saves a lot of brain cells, seriously.) then there's the whole fresher air thing. when you're tall, you can laugh at all the people squished into an mrt carriage with someone else's hair in their mouths. and being tall = longer legs = longer stride = walk faster. and for someone who's more or less always late (like me), that is very important. and really being tall means you don't have to wear heels to loom over people, and thats good for your achilles heel.

oh yes. i think me and ying were discussing why guys are so obsessed with boobs and asses when we were waiting for the mrt yday. personally, i think guys are obsessed with asses cause they look like boobs. but seriously, despite the fact that the school makes us write crap chinese compos about how inner beauty is the most important, outer beauty is like bzzack important too.

let's have a case study. take for example the typical male teenager, also known as a walking bag of hormones. see, if this weird ugly girl goes up to a guy and asks him to carry her books, he probably wont (but that could also be because he died of a heart attack or something). but say if some dishy dirtbag like jessica culver does the same thing, he'll probably be more than willing to carry her too.

my point is, to always have your way in life, outer beauty is important. bzzack. ok that made very little sense, but it did take up like 7mins of my time (i type slow, shoot me) so goal achieved.

now i just have to figure out what to do with the next gabillion minutes in my utterly miserably boring life. bahs.

Laugh until your face aches.
Cry until you start to shake.
Live like the world’s yours to take.
Love as though your heart won’t break.

randomly high

Q: Why did the bird cross the street?

A: To run away from Kai.


and that, is a real life recount of what happened today.

contact lenses :X

heehees. got a pair of monthly contact lenses today, and thanks to the fact that ying is such an influential person (ahem), they were free :D but the thing is, my eyes are freakin dry so contacts dont really work. but it's an interesting experience ;)

and i need to buy sneakers! the adidas campus looks really cool, but... i don't know :(

anyway, went with ying to the central library to *cough* study today, but i don't think we accomplished much studying. phooey. oh and speaking of buying stuff, i wanna buy those aladdin pants look alikes too ! hehs.

so much shopping to do, but so little time (and money).

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil shudders and says… ‘Oh crap… She’s awake!!’

argh ! stupid beetle !

AHHHH I HATE IT WHEN BEETLES DIVE BOMB AROUND MY ROOM!

adsense !

in a (not so ) valiant attempt to earn some cash, i added this ad thing. its over at the top left corner but i have no idea how to use it. then again, i doubt you people will even click on the ads. sigh, you just broke my teeny tiny heart. (not so subtle hint here)

and a human's heart really is small, like in proportion to the rest of the body.

regardless, ate yoghurt today... again. i see where all my pocket money is going to. i mean, paya lebar is like this evil ring of doom. the uh entrance hall(?) is sort of ring shaped so when you step in, to your left is macdonalds. to the left of that is kfc. that's one side of the ring. the other side is yogurt, aka scoops+slurps, and then if you ignore the stationery shop, then it's waffle factory. and the food is everywhere. if you go down the escalator, you see a blasted food court, which has really good curry btw.

come to think of it, it would be really creepy if i weren't so busy being hungry.

oh and in the end, i got my mum a rose for her birthday. i suppose that's better than nothing, but i guess it shouldn't have been so last minute and all.

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over.
Out on the edge you see all kinds of things
you can't see from the center.

bad day / good day?

gahs. the melamine in milk products thing is just... sad. my parents aren't letting me drink milk anymore cause of that thing :( but i drink HL milk, and it's not like one of those that were found to be contaminated. bah. what am i gonna drink with my oreos?

but yeah, ok lame stuff aside. i can't imagine all those babies, with like kidney stones. and 4 have died o.O it's just... sad. life is sad sometimes. i pity the parents. like if you just became parents, and you have this beautiful baby, but then suddenly he/she gets kidney stones cause of some milk you gave to him/her. and it's just... sad.

oh and those rabbit sweets, me and my mum have been eating them since forever. and they were found to have melamine. don't eat them!

and since i've finally crawled out from under my rock, i read the newspapers today. that whole complicated bank going bankrupt thing is just... sad too. lehman brothers yeah, and there was this consultant from there who was quoted in our IH readings o.O but not the point. again, it must be really damn sad when you're like old and 50, 60 plus and you trust the bank with your life savings and suddenly, bam, it's all gone. god, working your life away so that you can enjoy your retirement and suddenly...

life is really sad.

on the bright side, i got a tablet today. a really small and lousy one, but a tablet none-the-less. and somehow i feel guilty for being happy just now, when so many people are having such a horrible time. but what can being sad too do to help?

then again... sigh. i miss christy. prince gave my sis the scratching post treatment today. for some reason, i feel vaguely... gleeful. and mean. sigh, my sadistic tendencies. and i'll always have two cats, even if my sis tells me otherwise.

we all are a little damaged.
some of us hide it better than others,
but on some level we are all torn up.
we take it out on others and beat through life carrying it all,
and we will end up damaging someone else.
and most of the time we won't even notice or bother to care,
because we are busy with our own little disaster.

skin change!

right, so much for simple skins. i'm not sure whether i like this skin or not, but *shrug* the image is weird... and the codes too, but im inspiration-less.

and i'm not supposed to skin cause of exams, but what the heck, even if i dont skin i'm not studying so its better to skin than waste time ye?

;)

ChangeForTheChildren

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click here for more information or to start donating.

FOOOOOOD !

hahas. blew another five bucks on yoghurt at paya lebar today. ohh there goes my (non-existent) camera fund. anyway, there was this new shop called waffle factory and omgosh the food looked good ! like oreo waffles honey stars waffles cookie crisps waffles and all sort of evil delights. *faints* but the best thing is, they have a $1 off thing for students if you buy like a main course kinda thing. and that would basically be stuff like spaghetti etc and omg CURRY BAKED RICE. *faints*

right. anyway, i just realised that edward cullen's birthday is like 20 june 1901. which is rather cool. june babies rock :D mwahahaha.

sometimes to keep it together,
you have to leave it alone.

reach carnival!

i can't believe i rolled out of bed at 5.30am today. so freakin early! but yeah, went with ying and bea to the reach carnival at east coast. and ying and i rollerskated so much. my legs are gonna fall off :(

and i have blisters the size of russia! blisters! my gosh. like after i took off my skates, a fold of skin had been pushed up so the sole of my feet felt damn tight. i wonder if that's what people do for face lifts. it must really hurt o.O

and blisters are formed when there's like friction. and then it keeps rubbing on the skin and you get a friction burn. then the outer layer separates from the inner layers (that freaky fold) and lymph fluid fills up the space in between. eeee!

and its on both feet. bah!

anyway, had dinner at that place called something hong kong cafe. and i had like, curry la mian, which is basically la mian drowned in curry sauce with chicken and potatoes. in one word, it's evil. but what the hell, i can never resist good curry. like everytime i go there, i have something with curry. bahs!

warning: the following paragraphs might be... slightly disturbing. read at your own risk :D

(gahs, you know your hormones are in overload when you start noticing random guys on the street)

anyway, i saw this... eye catching guy today. at like raffles place there. he had black neck-long hair that was tied back in a loose ponytail (oooo~!) and was kinda tall and all. and he was carrying a guitar and was wearing faded ripped jeans (thank god no skinnys) and sneakers. i'd have to say, he looked good ;)

oh and on the mrt, there was this other guy, who to a normal person would be fairly hot (but sadly not to me, cause he was sort of lacking the long hair) and he was reading some thick chim book on something about the internet. woohoo, yay for hot geeks! :D

ciao.

PINK?!

WHAT?!! why is my itunes store pastel pink?!

bother bother bother hahaha !

wheeee~! i found this really cool site today :D its called albino blacksheep. like yay, sheep rule! hahas. and i found some fun stuff on the site. here's one where this guy changed the word wand to wang for the first harry potter book. heh heh. and just fyi, wang has the same meaning as walao (which i have so gladly enlightened jo and ying to ;D). for those still unfamiliar, the term is slang for a certain part of the human anatomy that only males tend to have, regardless of size.

hehs.

---
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything"

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
---

hahas. vaguely traumatising, vaguely lame. but hey, when in doubt, follow the one that's lame :D (it's a quote from back spin :D and i still like myron better than win. phooey!)

so yeah, the rest of the site aint as uh sick as what i pasted. i was just being the usual kai ;) so go visit the site or something, it's kinda cool.

oh, but before i go ciao (which i still cant pronouce), click the link for a cute potter puppet pals flash animation. and beware, there's no stop button for some reason. so yeahs, it'll just keep replaying until you close the window. (be glad i didn't embed it here. it doesn't have a start button too. (in other words, it'll just start playing -.-))

ha. brackets in a bracket. i need to quit being so long winded.

ciao :D

roarr !

went to science center today, but the thing ended so late that i didn't have time to play around with the exhibits :(

and now, i'm freakin sleepy for some reason. sigh. chem quiz tmr, chinese ting xie tmr, ih mock test tmr. wish me luck man, tmr is gonna be a longgg day.

oh look, it's a giant farting dinosaur !
(and it moves !)

movies !

eeps. i just realised that the release date for harry potter and the half-blood prince has been pushed back to 17 july 2009. and that's the USA release date, so who knows when it'll show in singapore :(

on the bright side, twilight is coming out 25 december ! but gosh, that's later than the US release date by like, 1 whole month! bah!

so i'm not sure if robert pattinson can pull off edward cullen's role in the movie, but *shrug* i mean, the one time i think i've seen him act was in harry potter and the triwizard tournament. and he sort of died not long into the movie. so yeah, not really much of an acting opportunity. but i don't really like kristen stewart as bella. she just doesn't look like how i pictured her. regardless, twilight's another movie i'm looking forward to.




vampires are hot ;)

reality sucks

last night reminded me why i wanted to learn lucid dreaming. but then again, that would just make life so much more unbearable.

but depressing thoughts aside, i didnt do any work today. ok so that's rather depressing too. scrap that.

hmms. everytime i look at my list of skins in the blogskins profile page, i realise i've gotten lazier and lazier. like i used to spend forever on a skin. i wonder when that changed.

nevertheless, skinning is not a major matter now. i'm not gonna skin for another long while... probably until december. hmms yep yep. right now, it's the non-existant (humour me. i'm still in denial) EOYs and the bimbo project. gahs, and ying plans to teach me to bake. i fear that i might blow up her kitchen. but then again, what are the chances of that happening? i'm not that hopeless, i hope.

bloop. for some reason, vicky looks extremely beautiful today.

Sleep opens within us an inn for phantoms.
In the morning we must sweep out the shadows.

TWILIGHT!

yeps, it's post TWO HUNDRED YO! 200. it's amazing, life changing, monumental, epic, legendary; it brings tears to my eyes every time i think about it.

yeah right.

ok, the melodrama aside, its the effing end of the hols ! god, and i spent it reading twilight. i seriously need to acquire a copy of the next book. acquire, big chim word. i'm a suppa geek ! right. i'm having violent mood swings at the moment and i think it must be because of the fangirling i did yesterday with ying and jess. guess what, we were fangirling about LOTR. or rather, they were. and i just pretended to be all-knowing (which translates into i have no idea what they were saying as i've never read the goddamn books).

so yes, right now i'm taking a plunge along my limitless emotional range (hah -.-) and i diagnose it as a delayed side effect from last night's estrogen rush. yep, fangirling is good for the soul. guys should try it once in awhile. probably better than steroids, at least it doesnt shrink balls.

so... where have i digressed too? who cares. i'm going to ramble today because it's creepy when your grandma has that thing people call a life and you don't.

right. so i skipped through thursday doing a little shopping and then reading twilight. denial's always the first stage. no i don't have EOYs, and no school's never starting again. (i'm sure someone with higher morals than me, like winky, will come along and tell me i should be careful what i wish for. or joey could be bored and decide to screw with my head)

and today is friday. sadly. so usual waking up issues aside, i dragged my sorry sleep-deprived ass to school today for chinese SIA presentation and then math remedial. where we promptly dialled KFC delivery and ordered lots of popcorn chicken. (hell if maths doesn't succeed in killing us, call in the calvary) anyway, math was rather helpful i suppose, but i'm still going to screw up my EOYs if i dont start mugging soon. and for some reason, i can't bring myself to care. yet.

there hasn't been one day since you left that
i haven't fought the urge to put you back into my life

Air Guitar

man, my dad killed the internet last night. and now that i've survived one internet-less night, i realised something. i'll die without google. yeah, google of all things. but last night, i would turn to my com and think lets google this and then i'll realise that the internet's dead. phooey.

but i'll have nightmares of high heels and hairless chihuahuas if i didn't have itunes. and seriously, they are a lot scrarier than death. oh but no worries, with the bimbo project in place, hopefully they won't be so scary anymore. and gahs, i'm just a bucketful of wit today, arent i? and if you can't tell, i'm being sarcastic -.-

bzzz. i need to do work but since im ace-ing procrastination 101, i shall rant about... yesterday. basically went to school at an unearthly hour for physics supp, then had a IH lecture that rendered me brainless for... an indefinite amount of time. after that had lunch with ying and joey, then popped over to joey's house with ying. where i subsequently got badly trashed in word games. brainless, see?

and then, (while i was still brainless) me and ying fooled around like complete retards while joey just laughed at us. aye, brainlessness is dangerous.

after that... well... let's just say it's all part of ying's plan to stop me from being a couch potato. except that one, i spend most of my time in this extremely posterior-unfriendly chair (which i predict i will break soon) and two, i love potatoes.

"bah, whatever that means"

and now ying has brainwashed me with myron bolitar and winsdor horne lockwood the third books. gahs.

this is how you pull off the air guitar.
form an ok sign with your hand...

and fan your groin.

i just love my sense of humour, don't you?

photoshop... is amazing

no i havent had a breakthrough with my ipod design, but this was so cool that i had to post it.

CLICK: don't worry it's not porn

hehs. and go bounce sheep. they're so cute :P

randoming

waaaa~! i'm feeling extremely depressed at the state of my ipod design. it's like... so freakin ugly. and i spent like 3 hours on it and i only did the back. which sucks. sigh.

anyway, i found this really cute skin today. like click on the sheep!



heh heh. sheep rule :D
(and ipod designs suck)

HOLS ARE HERE!

yay its da HOLIDAYYSSS. ok so it's just one week though. bummer that. anyway, watched DRILLBIT TAYLOR today and damn its nice. well sorta :D so yeahhhh. we're so watching that the next time we have a movie thingy somewhere.

and city hall mrt was so crowded today. i think that was the first time i heard such an announcement on the PA system.

"if you are not taking a train, please leave the station."

heh.

happy teachers' day!

yep yep, teachers' day today. we had a vague lack of food for the class party in the morning, but the tiramisu was really nice :D and since it was only about an hour long, the food sufficed.

and twister looks really wrong. especially when played in short fbts.

then after the party we went to the hall for a performance, which was more or less o...k... the awards thing was cool, though mr chia makes a weird host. like most of the time i couldn't discern what he was saying. but he can be funny, once in awhile, so i guess its fine. oh and miss teo rocked. like when she went up to get her prize for most stylish, she sort of did the twirl around someone seductively thing. heh heh.

oh and the parents support group fashion show was... interesting. like basically they used recycled materials to make outfits, and i can't imagine how long they spent making them. but the recycled stuff were sewed onto actual clothes right? so unless you plan on wearing that outfit out, the original clothes are sort of wasted no? but still, it was cool and the male outfits were funny. i particularly liked the clown one :D

after the celebrations we went back to tao nan, saw some teachers and then had lunch there. and like omgosh, the food is so cheap compared to nanyang's (way) overpriced food. like a plate of chicken rice was what 1 dollar? *gasp*

and then after that watched movies at my house. i sort of promised my mum that the number of people who came would stay in the single digits but it sort of didnt work out. i hope my mum doesn't kill me later :X

so we watched the superhero movie, which is a really funny spoof. after that watched a bit of kungfu panda but then they protested against it so changed to spiderwick (chronicles?) and then changed again to legally blonde 2, which we finally watched to the end, more or less. man you people are really choosy when it comes to movies. oh and after that we watched a bit of this romantic comedy but it was rated R (o.O) for good reasons. i emphasize we only watched a bit :D

oh and i love my strawberry yogurt :D

and support amy's and yuna's YFC project by clicking this link.

oh my cheeeeeeese

went to ying's house to make tiramisu today :D

i wanna eat it

I LOVE FANFICTION

oh i really do. FANFICTION ROCKS. it's the thing that i wake up for every morning (excluding food) and i must really love it to roll out of bed every morning at the unearthly hour of 5.30am! I LOVE FANFICTION :D

and if you're wondering what triggered this bout of insanity, it's cause this WONDERFUL (like the seriously wonderful) author UPDATED the FANFIC.

YAYYY! *dramatic music plays* *fireworks light up the sky* *people cheer*

hahas. i love this fanfic! WHEEEE~! causeeeeee its DM/HP SLASH AND SEVERITUS! all my favs in one fanfic. *swoons* the last time i found one like that was like... a series of 7 fics, totalling up to a nice long FOUR MILLION WORDS YO! :D

aye. i worship people who write good fanfic.

there are 3 kinds of people in this world.
those who are weak and those who are strong.
then, there are those who must learn to be strong.

OH THUMB

like ow ow ow. i just like clamped my left thumb just now. and it hurts. man to think they used to clamp all your fingers as torture in ancient china. like ouch. and pulling you finger nails off :X

anw, the BIMBO PROJECT is on! hahas. IOW, i shall now strive to turn bimb for the pure fun of it. mwahahaha. ouch. its weird not being able to type with my thumb. i keep missing the spaces. youknowlikethis.

zzz. and school today was like... blah. everyday is so blah. and oh dear dear dear. IS THE GUASHA ESSAY DUE? :X

oh but assembly was scary. it was about skin conditions that teens can get, which was really uh... enlightening. i mean, like fungus infections. and warts. AHHH~! i swear i will like uhhh. hmms what can i do? :X

the nerves in my thumb are all still wonky. i cant imagine not having a thumb o.O for one, juggling wud be like almost impossible, not that i can do it now, thumbs intact and all. gahh so much homework. and FENGSHUI.

oh about the acne thing, did you know fengshui(i think) has stuff about acne too! like its basically for relationships (heh heh heh) if you have acne at like your inner brow ends, it means you two would get into fights for no reason and both will have really bad tempers. tsk tsk.

if the acne's right between the brows, then both will have short tempers and you would try to pick on your other half's mistake as often as you can.

if it's on the nose bridge, then basically you guys would fight all day.

if it's on the nose bone, then you two will get sick together. like one will fall sick and then pass it to the other but thankfully it's nothing too serious.

if it's on the inner eye corner, then oooo there might be a love triangleeeee.

for the outer eye corner it's fights also which will basically put your physical and mental health at stake.

if it's upper lip... well it's rather bad. well to certain people it would be but yeah, this is a sign of a bad sex life :X

oh but of course, this only applies for certain ages :D like the right between your eyebrows one is 28, other eyebrow stuff are for those 31 -34, the eyes 35 -40, nose 41 -44 and oops. the upper lip one is at any age. heh heh. so, the moral of the story is... WASH YOUR FACE. (i should so practise what i preach)

boo. what a long and boring post. but i figured posting stuff about the top 4 breast shapes in fengshui wudnt be very appropriate. but for the record, this book on fengshui says the best is bowl shape (slightly sagging but symmetrical round breasts), followed by a A-cup, C-cup or above and finally, B-cup. oh and flat boobs or those pointing sideways are bad news, like you'll have bad marriage luck :X

SP is the LOVE

your love is just a lie
you're nothing but a lie.

busy weekend

GAHHH. i haven't started on any homework this weekend. i am like.. so. dead. anw, this is gonna be a long post since i still don't wanna do my homework. so saturday was lit sem, which was... ok. at first. like the poetry slam was quite fun, and the emo poem rocked :D

if i were an emo, i would have an emo fringe. i would flick my emo fringe, and flick my happiness away.

or something like that... but poetry slam was fun. (and ying got hooked onto saying "when i say poetry you say slam! poetry! ..." and this is not one of those cases where if you can't beat 'em, join 'em)

so yeps, lit seminar started out fine... until it got to the concurrent session. like cause we were crashers as we registered like last minute, we didn't have a concurrent session to go to so the guy randomly dumped us into random session. evillll guy. so me, ying, addie and hui yi got dumped in this asian theatre critique writing thing, which i didn't really enjoy. no offence whatsoever, but that's just not my thing. i don't think i've ever even read a theatre critique before. like what?

and today... i parted the red sea :D ok so more like me yunxin and amanda. we were like, this barricade of white which everyone(well most) avoided. heh. man, singaporeans must really detest donation tins. hahs. so spent four hours today doing flag day at toa payoh (oh all the food!) and i am a pro apple seller :D so if i fail my way out of nanyang, i can start selling apples to nice parents with cute kids for 2 bucks an apple :D but anyway, basically if they donated 2 dollars they get an apple or a message card, but poor amanda. the people who donated $2 didn't want their apples. zzz. oh and the old people were really nice (: the younger people kept giving us cold looks or glaring. hmph.

and i just finished watching hellboy, which is ok i suppose. if i were to rate the movie out or 10... it would rank about 7? it's not stupid or anything, but it's not spectacular. it's fine to watch if you wanna pass time, but it's not one of those must watch things. the special effects were rather cool, and it's weird to see two non-human peeps drinkin beer and singing "i cant smile without you" in some library like thing. especially when one has gills and the other has a tail. but it's cute :D and the ending is rather sad for gill man, whose name i cudn't catch. apparently its like some weird name or something. *shrug*

yeah, so that sort of brings me to now, which is where i shud start on homework but... nahs. :D

swimming yday

right. now that i'm fully awake, unlike last night aka thursday, i shall post about SWIMMINGGGGG :D hahas. anw, i was freakin happy to finally be able to swim after so damn long. i sort of started just wobbling about in the water. and the swim laps idea sort of didn't really worked out. me and ying sort of pigged out by the pool and flung ourselves into the water at occasional moments. or rather, i flung myself and ying dived. SPLASH :D but anywayyyyy, swimming rocked. and still does. can't wait to go swimming again :D

and lit sem tmr, waking up quite early. but before i go to sleep i need to do my LA thing, which is depressing :( oh and the ipod skin design contest! like AHHHH. haven't started. and i have like... very few days to figure out how to use adobe illustrator.

and theres like, less than a month and half till EOYS. like what the shit. so freakin fast i wanna faint. END OF YEARS OMGOSH!

go with your gut & guard your heart

HSM 3

ok so for some reason, i'm looking forward to high school musical 3 senior year. like the trailer thingy looks so cool. and 10 songs... wow.

shhh

"It's come to this" - Fuel

And I found my head uncrowned and all life's sweet nectar flowing down
the cracks and seams wasted on some petty little prayers
And I reached up for despair but I was well below that charished stage
and all my mangled hopes all songs unsung

I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Everything is faded
Smiles are fabricated now
I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Held my eyes closed for too long

And I ran out through the streets in hopes that I might find it there
but all my buildings stared back at me tentantless and bare
and I reached up for the sky, but it always seems so far away
transcendent thoughts you gave lie to atrophied and broken

I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Everything is faded
Smiles are fabricated now
I fear I've wasted all my sun
I fear I've wasted all my time
Held my eyes closed for too long

And I sat when I should have stood; swallowed when I should have spit
until now I only recognize me in pictures taken long ago
and all the changes simply haunt and never go away
a friend will tell when I hit hell, I may not feel the change

Held my eyes closed for too long
Held my eyes closed for too long

Just before I go don't you offer any sweet advice because
where were all your shoulders when I needed them for so long ago
and now with legs weak and weary from this silly dance
with a suitcase full of memories, pack my bags and slowly drift away

How Could You

HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.

You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes

and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask

"How could you?"

-- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected,

because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.

I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed

and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,

and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream

(I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said),

and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career,

and more time searching for a human mate.

I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks

and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions,

and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" --

still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection,

and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement.

I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled,

and I wanted to mother them, too.

Only she and you worried that I might hurt them,

and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend.

They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs,

poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.

I loved everything about them and their touch --

because your touch was now so infrequent --

and I would've defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries

and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog,

that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.

These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject.

I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog,"

and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city,

and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets.

You've made the right decision for your "family,"

but there was a time when I was your only family.

was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter.

It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness.

You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her."

They shrugged and gave you a pained look.

They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog,

even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed

"No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!"

And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship

and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes,

and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.

You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left,

the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago

and made no attempt to find me another good home.

They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow.

They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.

At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front,

hoping it was you that you had changed your mind --

that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared,

anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies,

oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day,

and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears,

and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come,

but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her.

The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her,

and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek.

I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago.

She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein.

As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body,

I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured

"How could you?"Perhaps because she understood my dog speak,

she said "I'm so sorry."

She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure

I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned,

or have to fend for myself --

a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "

How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you,

My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you.

I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?"

brought tears to your eyes as you read it,

as it did to mine as I wrote it,

it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly

"owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial purpose,

as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters,

on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards.

Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life,

that animals deserve our love and sensible care,

that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility

and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice,

and that all life is precious.

Please do your part to stop the killing,

and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Jim Willis

what's down this road

sigh. i have no idea what i'm doing with my life at the moment. on the bright side, i'm not into drugs or self mutilation but on the down side, i'm not really into anything.

Too often,
the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have.
Desire leaves us heartbroken,
it wears us out.
Desire can wreck your life.
But as tough as wanting something can be.
The people who suffer the most,
are those who don't know what they want.

a domestic affair

it's saturday night and i'm sitting at home with silas in my room with the aircon at 26degrees. so the fact that it's saturday night is obvious, and since i'm blogging, duh silas is with me. and 26 degrees is just... noobish. but i think i lack a internal body heater or something, so iow i freeze about as easily as tom yam, aka chilli oil soup, makes me hungry.

and that was probably a really weird sentence. but who cares, one of these days i'm gonna lie in my front yard with cookie and we can sunbathe together. for the record, cookie does sunbathe. and i think watching my dogs is really fun.

let's start with vicky. she's like those kind of supermoms. the kind where the kids always listen to her and shes always ready-to-go and fit and all. like the pups never fight with vicky, though that could be because vicky is so much larger... but anw, vicky's probably the healthiest one of the lot. and she's rather energetic but not in the spring-about-like-a-joey-on-crack kind of energetic (that's prince), but more of a... well basically i just think of her (if she were human) as the kind who go jogging everyday and is successful in work and all. and vicky is really lovable, and shes just beautiful. so yes, if vicky was human, she'd probably be the perfect mum-cum-21st century woman.

which would have made it really unlikely that cookie and her would get together. cookie is sort of like... the fun dad. like once in awhile cookie gets into a "fight" with say amber, and it gets really cute. like kimberly and angel will join in and one will take sides while the other just stands on it's back legs and sort of tries to break them up. in the end it's just this really cute tumble of fur and paws and it's just so cute. anyway, cookies is fat, like roll-down-the-stairs fat (he actually did roll down the stairs, oh horrors of horrors) but he's so cute. and fat people are fun people. and at times i tend to think of cookie as like, a dumb blonde cause his fur is sort of blonde, though maybe slightly bleach-y. but yeahs, cookie is just so lovable too. he's really easy going and he'll just rest his cute little head on your arm and fall asleep. like aww, so affectionate, unlike that vicious cretin that goes by the name prince. bleahhh!

anyway, this post is getting really long, so i guess i'll rant about the pups another time. and i love my dogs. they all have such unique personalities and it's just so amazing. vicky cookie angel amber kimberly <3 oh you too, ginger and legolas. i really do miss the two of you.

Happiness is not about having what you want.
It's wanting what you have.
(i sprouted this to joey today in the library's toilet, for some reason. heh hehs)

braindead

aye, i think philosophical discussions at midnight are just weird... and i need to do my lang arts and chinese, but not now. i think i'm gonna stop skinning for awhile, probably a very long while.

ah wells, adios.

BOOM

zzz. facebook is amusing, but the only game that can keep me interested in the heroes one. so fireballs and weird stuff here i go -.-

out the window

ah well, there go my principles. then again, what principles? zzz. but seeing as i've been finding myself extremely bored this days, i've given in and made a facebook account. oh horrors of horrors. zzz. now i just have to figure out how to well, start.

There are two kinds of people in this world;
those who play play stupid games and laugh at themselves,
and others who don't know how to enjoy living

080808

ah ok so ying wants me to post abt national day's eve. so basicallyyyyyyyy, connect singapore went kapeesh. like the class was going mad just standing along the roads and yelling and waving at everyone driving past and why does it feel as if i've typed this before? hmms. dunno but i'm having a weird sense of dejavu.

ok wtv! yeah so pam and her big inflated hand and the rest of 313 (well most of it, if you minus ying and queenie having a bitchslapping marathon and other stoners like me) were shouting "happy national day" to whoever walked/droved/flew/dived passed us. and poor lao shi was so worried we would cause a car accident. zzz.

then suddenly people started a count down so ok lets count down and we counted 3 2 1 and then.... nothing. yeah so randomly said a few lines of the pledge hoping that that was what we were supposed to be doing and then... yeah ok so basically it didnt go as planned, obviously.

after connect sg ying came over to my house and we alternated wasting time in front of the com and reading on the bed. and then we decided to pay youtube a visit and did weird stuff and watched weird stuff and i think i laughed so much i ruptured something. yeah probably.

and my index finger hurts. i think clicking a mouse is bad for you cause yeah, it's not natural! like when we were living in caves and were waving clubs about, we didnt exactly have to click anything. hence, our fingers were not meant for clicking and this is why my index finger is gonna fall off.

yeah, i make so much sense :D

Someday, everything will come together.
But until then, live it up; do what makes you happy.
If someone doesn't agree, then fuck them.

Half Blood Prince!

OWW! i just freakin clamped my finger and now it hurts like freakin hell. oh what the heck. the HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE trailer is out! (ok yeah i'm a little slow)




and like OMG. WHERE THE HELL IS SNAPE! hahas. anw, can't wait to see the movie, which is supposedly gonna be released in singapore on 20th november! lols that's ying's bday, but we're gonna be CHINA. waaaa~! damn damn damn.

oh and mucho thanks to izza for telling me about the trailer and then freakin out with me over snape after i watched it. ahhhh severus, why are you not in the trailerrrr! this is your movie! zzz.

right. my finger has stopped hurting. yay!

bloop bloop

blahh. i'm feeling very weird today. like i ate a bowl of ice cream and cup noodles for dinner and now my sis and mum keep telling me to turn down my music. and i need to do my du shu bao gao but i refuse to do it.

ahhhhhhh! this sucks. heh. i'm think i'm gonna skin. AGAIN -.- i need a new hobby.

In this world, people are going to say
don't do this, don't do this, don't do this.
You know what you're going to end up with?
Nothing to do.
(which is my current problem)

library cip again

waaaa~! lols. went to the library for cip today, but was dreading it the entire way there. like on the bus i was telling zinc how i would keep trying to decide if i should go or not and when the bus nears the stop i'll still get off regardless of what i decided. like... -.-

so did shelf-reading today. and guess what, i got assigned the art section, which also happens to be the messiest section in the library. like its chocked full of books all at the wrong sections cause there just isnt enough space so people who shelf books just place them at the nearest shelf with space. hence, i spent my entire three hours just doing ONE shelf. like both sides but still, ONE shelf. blah... and i was staring at all those number tag thingies and now i see all my 4s with a pink background and all my 6s with a black one. GAH.

and cause the whole shelf was so messed up, i got damn annoyed when i would go back to this particularly part of the shelf (that i'd already sorted) to realise that someone had come along and placed this book that doesnt belong there. yeah, i'm anal like that.

and cause there really was no space for the books, the librarian told me to remove all the old books (like those from the 1990s. hahaha) and i found this book that's older than me :D it was from 1992 i think. or maybe 1990. ok what the heck. but yeah, in the end i had a trolley full of old books and it was kinda sad, cause even though the covers and all were sort of worn out, the books looked really good.

and then there was this pile of the celestial heavens comic or something along those names. i vaguely remember reading them when i was like younger ( ah what fond memories ) and the guys all have really hot long hair :D

so basically, shelf-reading was damn @!#^&%#$#@$ and i ended up just pulling out all the books that weren't at the right place and then i built this huge pile of books on the floor. zzz. the people who walked pass kept looking at me like they thought they ought to report me to the librarian or something.

and i finally have 30 hours of cip :D but unfortunately, i still need to go for more cause i need to do for SIX MONTHS. WAAAAA~!

oh and don't forget the lyrics is cool, though my sis kept complaining about that person's voice and about how irritating it was. but still, the show was nice and the songs are all so old o.O

i'm hungry

la dee do dee dah :D i'm vaguely high, cause i just finished another skin. heh heh heh. but i don't think i'll be using it, cause the posts space is too narrow. but it reminds me a lot of chinese painting, which i don't think mrs teo has returned to us. my purple flowers~! heh.

oh and i was looking through my old random notebooks, and i found something highly amusing.

presenting... (insert title here :D)

harry potter was in the zoo
where he was accused of doing voodoo
because a snake came out and said boo
and everybody ran into the loo

lying in his cupboard snoring
harry potter received a calling
he was so shocked he stopping breathing
and uncle vernon ran around freaking

uncle vernon hid them in a hut
but hagrid blew the door apart
dudley was so scared he clutched his heart
and a tail popped up from his butt

hagrid took harry to diagon alley
where he was suddenly struck silly
because malfoy looked so girly (heh heh heh)
and ollivander mentioned lily

on the first september
he met ron and his mother
as well as hermione granger
and they all shrieked "harry potter!"

ron took out his wand and gave a bellow
"sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
turn this stupid fat rat yellow!"
but scabbers remained the same ol' fellow

at hogwarts he met the sorting hat
which started talking from where it sat
malfoy acted like a brat
and snape looked like an oversized bat (hey!)

harry and co. got into gryffindor
and ron weasley ate more and more
they climbed so many stairs before reaching their floor
where peeves chased them through their common room door

the next day he met professor snape (yay snape!)
who thought he was a blundering ape
and snape swept around with his billowing cape
which left the class gaping in his wake (that's right! bow down and kiss his feet!)

---

hahas. that rediculous thing was by me and ying in sec 2 but unfortunately, it ends there. oh and the stuff in brackets are just me being unable to resist making comments. anw, woohoo~! snape is hot!

hahas. ok time for bath. toodles.

Disney is amazing

Too many people miss the silver lining
because they're expecting the gold.

new skin again

so i got sick of that stupid skin that took me so long to code, and now i have a much simpler and much more plain skin. for some reason , i prefer this one to the other even though i coded this in like... less than 2 hours. *shrug* i guess there's something appealing in simplicity.

so basically today was rather... mundane. and teachers' day audition didnt go very well. but i guess it was still ok. and the english thing we had first thing in the morning was just so... urgh. what on earth is an antonym or whatsitcalled? the only thing that was interesting was that article on the sleeping late one.

turns out, it's normal for me to sleep at like... 1/2am in the morning. (hops about and laughs at those people who sleep too freakin' early). but when we go to china for that exchange program thing, i think i'll end up sleeping early. like my hibernating instincts will kick in and thankfully i have enough body fats to not freeze.

oh and the words in the skin, like up there, are adapted from a song.

so basically this blows, more than a slut.

ow ow ow

ahhh aching all over and that was really lousy and unintentional alliteration. the fact remains that i'm aching all over and my sis is parading around in a towel. as in only a towel. and do the colours of my skin look weird? i spent like a longggg time just now trying to fix the colours until my eyes started to hurt and i went down to watch the day after tomorrow.

man, i wanna learn to snowboard. and i can ski, you know! ok not really, but i can stay upright :D (most of the time). yeahhh... snowboarding is cool. sexy snowboarding severus snape! hahahahaha. and if you were wondering what i was talking about, it's a fanfic. a highly frivolous one but a hot!snape one none-the-less.

gahs. ITS AUGUSTTT. ok yeah, that's pretty obvious. but i mean it's AUGUST. like what the hell... it's gonna be september in no time and then it'll be sep hols then it'll be EOYS and then it'll be china exchange thing then it'll be december hols then it'll be sec 4 and then we're all gonna die! yeah, i'm hyperventilating.

sigh. time passes so fast. i mean, on friday i was telling myself i'm gonna read a fanfic but now it's sunday night and i havent read one. (and the chapters i read today cause the author updated don't count) boohoo.

i want frozen yoghurt :(

Everything good in life is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

all the red

you know, i never knew singaporeans were so patriotic. then again, i should have known. and there were like... so many people wearing red at city hall today. like a lot. zzz.

and i am feeling highly depressed right now. WAAAAAAA. SINGFEST! gosh...

SIMPLE PLAN!!

sigh. at like... 3 hours from now simple plan will be performing. gahhh! i wanna go! *breaks down in hysterics* damn hell i'm gonna miss you when you're gone. stupid song playing at such an emotional time. WAAAAAAAA!

and to make things worse, my mum and dad and sis are eating durian right now but i can't hit cause i've ate too many over the last weeks. like my dad bought 10 durians three times in a row and i ate so many and now i think i'm gonna get a sore throat. *sigh*

i suspect i have like, tonsillitis or something. i mean according to wiki... the symptoms are like severe sore throat, painful swallowing, headache, fever and chills and change in voice causing a "hot potato" voice. ok i have no idea what a "hot potato" voice is, but i used to get those symptoms very often last time.

oh what the heck. SIMPLE PLAN!!

boohoo.

KICK YOU

i think i finally realise why detonatedlove quit. actually i'm amazed at how long she stayed.

got nothin' to say anymore,
orginality went out that door.

Sad Story - Plain White T's