im having corn and mushroom soup

hello you need to update real soon!

if you're seeing this and it's past ten thirty already, GO AND SLEEP! :D

what a huge snowball

i'm not sure what sucked more today, that i no longer have something to look forward to, or that i fell for a bloody obvious phishing scam.

happy birthday mummy !!

had chili crab for dinner today :D no mantous, but still awesome. then the cake was... funny. the candles were nearly completely gone by the time the cake was cut. but other than that, quite good. mmm :D

oh but on a side note, when i was looking for a lighter to light the candles, i found this pair of really awesome metal chopsticks with cool engravings. i then tried to cast spells at vicky, but after numerous failed stupefys and wingardium leviosas (and one random tarantallegra; why must the spell names be so long ._.) i got kinda demoralised. then my sis called me childish and just to spite her, i tried a levicorpus on vicky and being the awesome dog she is, vicky rolled over and stuck her foot in the air! ( and she looked so kyuteeeeeeeeeee (L) )

and most importantly, i no longer doubt the authenticity of mlias :]

i detest you damsels

muahaha I'm back!

Anddd..today's topic is.. the Damsels in Distress!

ARGH i cannot stand damsels in distresses. Like for example in those mediocre fantasy stories:
The poor thing is usually a royal princess/powerful mage/Captain Universe but somehow therewould be a proverbial wrench in the works, causing her to quite conveniently lose her powers, but never, Heaven forbid, her feminine charms.

Next comes along this strapping young chap, and the almighty evil villain who seeks to rule the world. For some reason or another, the strapping young fool would go, "Ar, you nasty scallywag! I'll tear your head off your shoulders!" So off he goes, dragging along the poor maiden along with him. Surrounding them, of course, would be a Band of Would-be Heroes, which will pale in comparison to the sole might of the protagonist.

So off they go! After some trials and tribulations, in which all escape unscathed, either a) the villian kidnaps the damsel or b) she slumps tragically on the floor due to some magical parasite/fatal disease/H1N1. Either way, the damsel feels compelled, no matter how strong and pro her character is, to warble "save me! save me!" in a more lyrical and poetic way. Then she says "Oh! Why not leave me behind! I am unimportant to our collectuve quest!" Hence, she cleverly guilt-trips the lad, who then feels honour-bound to save her.

Which he does, pretending all the while that it is a difficult and heroic quest to undertake. And after several more damsel in distress situations, he fights the villian, who simply cannot win against his sheer power of true love/desperation/insanity. They then return home and live happily ever after.

The flaws and contradictions in characters never cease to surprise, as do the sheer helplessness of these damsels and amount of poetry spouted in times when they are supposed to be running for their collective lives. Why is it that there are only damsels in distress and never men in mess? It would be an awfully funny story to read. Imagining a man in a woman's situation is always loads funnier than a woman in a man's situation.

i think i may be bipolar

perhaps a wee bit overdosed with topless jeans-clad males, but it does look cool. (and oh major eww @ robert pattinson. he looks better with his shirt on)

you're my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey

everything's gonna be alright! :D

i think it's only when we experience such depressing times that we cherish happy and carefree moments. just get back right up and keep going!

when the shit hits the fan

i think i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. or maybe i'm already there. and i don't even know why. though i suppose mrs ting assigning us the project on our ideal school probably triggered it.

thinking about what i would really enjoy only made me realise how far reality is from it. i suppose i can honestly say that i. hate. school. i have nothing against learning or education, but its the means in which it's being carried out that makes me hate it so much. all i feel like doing right is throwing all my textbooks into a bonfire and hop around chanting windows! doors!

and somehow, i'm back to wondering about the point of school. so perhaps the whole point of studying is to get good grades to get a good future doing some non 9-5 job so that we don't spend the later part of our lives doing more or less what we're doing right now. but i still don't see the damn point. the only studying we're doing is memorising and regurgitating. i've written enough reflections to know how bloody moral i need to be to get a good grade which supposedly gives me a brief flash of happiness. damnit a cup of mango ice blended can make me happier.

i need to stop degrading into swearing in every consecutive sentence. but regardless, the studying just never seems to end. we study for this EOY just so that we can study for the next EOY and the next, and the next and it just goes on and on until finally we graduate with some form of respectable degree. i feel like a goddamn hamster on a wheel. and if you do well for something, they'll expect more of you and push you harder and harder. if i can run this fast on the hamster wheel they're just going to keep pushing to see how fast i can go until something snaps and i spend the rest of my life burnt out. i suspect that's what happened already.

i think i used to care more. but now the world can go to hell for all that matters. if some warning siren sounds i'll run out with flags to encourage whatever weapon of mass destruction that's heading our way to just bloody hurry up already. i guess civic responsibility just wasn't meant for me. but if that big toy in the sky would wipe just me off the face of this earth then boy would i be even happier. i have never really been a big fan of dragging innocent bystanders down with me.

actually, i don't even know why i'm freaking out over this or EOYs. i havent even started EOY revision and if chem o is sending me into this much emotional upheaval, i think i'm not cut out for persuing an academic life. i think i want to be a librarian.

and i have no idea what's wrong with me right now though i sincerely apologise for whatever bridges ive burnt along this precarious road of self destruction. i think i'll go stare at the wall for awhile and let my subconscious cry its heart out because i have no idea what it's so upset about. nothing's changed. and i suppose that's cause enough to be sad.

though i suppose depression may be contagious. apparently some girl jumped off a builing in bedok today. nevertheless, i shall just hope whatever self salvation instinct i have left kicks in soon. i hope i'll have a chance to pick up the pieces.

this is what is actually ON my to-do list:
dushubaogaox3
math port
re[dead key]ision
sell phones
crack -lack-erry -or mum
purchase ph[ah keys]use 4 speakers
setup new internet
possi-ly purchase new key-oard.

RAWR

ouch toothache

my sis just majorly freaked out when she found out that what my maid said was pork was actually beef and that she had actually eaten beef after not doing so for so long. from what i know she's definitely not religious so i'm starting to wonder if maybe she can see the spirit of dead cows and maybe i should stop eating beef too. and now i'm trying to decide which sentence was longer.

on a side note, i think someone used my email to sign up for a viagra newsletter.

i think i just pulled a thought muscle

i think one of the dangers of taking long showers, aside from thoroughly prune-ing myself, is that i end up thinking too much.

and now that i'm slightly less drenched and significantly cleaner, all those deep insightful thoughts seem to have slipped away. who knows where they go to, but i guess it's not somewhere you'll find purple bunnies nibbling on oreos.

and... oh what the heck. i might as well spew all the random wishy washy muses my head cooks up. and on the menu today, would be... people. so i'm obviously not talking about cannibalism here (don't look so shocked) but more on .. well, people. and how they've affected me. and since this isn't like the usual random things i dish out, do try and take it with a pinch of salt.

so... i guess i'll have to hope my ramblings make sense later, seeing as how i can't organise my thoughts on the fly. and i can't do lists too, nor plan stuff, nor any other form of organisational work. which i suppose this person can.

she's really quite awesome, and somewhat inspiring. she's such a nice person, i wonder if sometimes i should try to be more like her. i probably should learn to be as disciplined as her i guess, because then maybe some of my work would get done. and i guess i need a more optimistic outlook in life. i probably need to learn to be more patient too, and i guess she's helped me realize a lot of things.

and i suppose this other person has made realize a lot of things too. though she scares me sometimes; quite an enigma she is. i admire her strong beliefs, and her resourcefulness, and her all around ability to think quickly on the spot. her achievements are quite humbling, and sometimes i wonder if i should be a little more driven.

and then there's another person, who's really lucky in that she knows what she wants out of life. i hope you end up where you want to be, and do send some postcards when you get there. and i guess being cautious can be good, but sometimes taking risks and generally doing something different is good too. maybe i should try tackling life like the way i play bridge, though i probably wont be so lucky as to end up with a royal flush. and i really have to thank you for introducing me to... well something that i really enjoy now. perhaps not too friendly on my rather insubstancial fiances, but nevertheless still something i enjoy.

and then... yet another enigma i suppose. then again, i suppose everyone's an enigma, seeing as how i'm absolute hogwash at reading people. but back to the point. i don't really know what to say. you seem to have found a nice balance all around and you know how to get what you want. i guess this is where i have to learn to assert myself. though i envy how you've had the chance to read so many amazing books. so we've got different tastes in them, as well as in everything else, but we were quite different to start with. i think you've changed me a lot. and believe it or not, you seriously altered the course of my one tiny life when you introduced me to the world of harry potter (don't blame her; i'm sure she meant well at that time). but, it was good. and yes, being obsessive is bad. and... ok so i think i'm still quite obsessive, but at least it's only on fanfiction and not useless things like pet society. and... this is really getting quite long.

and i guess we've all changed. quite a lot, actually. and i think it's time this soul searching stopped. if this gets any sappier i think silas will scoff at me. bah, i love you too. try not to lag so much yeah.

and cookie, amber, angel and kimberly, i'm sorry for feeding you so much. please don't die on me anytime in the near or distant future. and vicky, you're snoring.

Az ich vel zein vi yener, ver vet zein vi ich?
If I would be like someone else, who would be like me?

time to spread the horror

i'm not sure if i should start roflmao-ing or searching for spoons to dig my eyes out. regardless, this is definitely not one for the faint of heart.

random much

well, such..creative designs you have been bestowed with! Fortunately I'm ineligible for such outbursts of creativity :D

And you, my dear friend, are addicted to fanfiction

this is an abomination

no i'm not into masochism. my sis decided to bestow that upon me.

la la irohke cha cha cha ro ah. shinandago ya lacha lacha ta ta~!

harder, better, faster, stronger

somehow it just never occurred to me that i spent 8 hours on a 2minutes-long video. then again, it'd probably be less if i were to minus away the time spent downloading codecs, restarting my com, converting video formats, waiting for windows movie maker to hang and close before reopening, etc etc. but looking at the final product, i guess its not too bad and if we win anything with it, then it would definitely have been 8 hours well spent.

and even though i only had 1/2 an hour's worth of sleep yesterday morning, i'm not feeling very sleepy now that i've read a fanfic. i recall coming home and wanting to just collaspe into a century-long hibernation but i somehow feel a lot more rejuvenated now. i suppose fanfic is to me what religion is to... religious people.

i wonder if this is what it's like to have a firm belief to draw strength from :/