Hammered in the last nail on the coffin today, what a depressing image. It's time to bury unfulfilled dreams and move on.
Anyway, it's hard to fill sorry for myself when I see what the kids who come to RDA have to face. How can I lose faith when they haven't? They probably don't do it consciously but I can't help admiring how brave they are. I will live, no matter how unfair life can be.
And I realised that I'm upset, but not as upset as when I lost Cookie. Perspective is a precious thing, and I wish I didn't have it but what has happened has happened. Life is cruel but that's part of life. So is loss, which only makes everything that remains all the more important.
A clean end, a new beginning. I absolutely have no idea where studying business is going to take me, anything can happen. I'm going to challenge myself to do my best, even though I'm not sure yet what I'm working for. All I have is an image, a warm happy fuzzy one that I will hold on to, and towards that image I will work. I will think about it as often as possible to help me through the moments of doubt and uncertainty. Believe~
"As an 18-year-old, I wonder what my place in this world will be. The future is so full of potential that I cannot help but be very excited and a little afraid. There are bound to be accomplishments and missteps. I am young and I have so many hopes and fears. Perspective has helped me to understand that come what may, each day is a gift and a chance to find meaning, fulfilment and happiness."
(essentially the last paragraph of my PSC application essay, which probably explains why they never got back to me hahahahaha)