What would you do if you couldn't fail? Chase a dream. What happens when you fail? Suck it up and move on. But dammit it's so hard. To come so close and still fail. I don't think I have the stamina to go for the spring interview tomorrow when I just want to curl up in a dark corner and try and remember what it feels like to still have hope. I wonder why I even tried so hard when I knew this was probably where I would end up anyway. What's the point of getting offers and the grades dammit dammit dammit when someone else just has to scrape through with one offer, not meet the conditions and still get to go. I used to think I didn't really care about money that much, but god how wrong I am. Where can I find half a million dollars? It's so hard not to hate these people. I confess to being bloody fucking jealous. My father wants me to go to SMU cause it'll be cheaper. They want me to do a single degree cause it's cheaper. It's so exhausting having to fight for every little thing. I don't even know why I took business, but I don't know why I do anything anymore. Should have just gone to poly sigh.
My father wanted to celebrate me not hearing back from AVA. This is so fucked up. I think I've sunk to an all time low. I can't find the strength to do up a fucking presentation now. ARGGGHHHHHHH.