eee impulsive spending

yikes. i spent like $70 today... and it's kinda depressing. then again, whattheheck. i've finally got a new wallet and pencil case, as well as some other random things. oh and it's the starbucks christmas open house tomorrow. which means.... free coffee :D yep, each customer gets one free tall-sized drink. you can find out more here.

so hurray for good coffee! ciao.

Logic cannot convince the heart.

Cambiare Podentes: Invocare

WHEEEEEE. i'm super high now, cause fanfiction was amazing. like the story just ended, and it so happened that itunes was playing thank god i found you by Mariah Carey and it was just so... perfect. like in the story, harry and severus were forced to be together but it ended up so beautifully. *swoons like a fangirl*

man, i love itunes. and the song that's playing now would be really nice to play on guitar hero. lots of guitar stuff and drumming. hahas. it's actually quite a nice song, cold hard bitch by Jet.

oh and since this post is extremelyyyyy random, what do you think of this?
i was kinda bored yesterday so decided to do some doodling. and that's done using paper and pencil, my tablet's too lousy to draw with.

anyway, back to fanfic! or at least the sequel :D

Guitar Hero ! Woots !

i am soooooo not a morning person. anyway, my mum brought me and my sis to cut our hair today. and i just wanted a trim, like a little bit, and the guy said he'd cut 1 inch. but you know what? HE LIED. he just hacked off like what, three bloody inches and now my hair is so bloody short. it still can tie, duh, or i'd have killed someone by now, but it's as short as at the start of the year. i can't believe it. a WHOLE YEAR of letting my hair grow, and it's all gone in a matter of minutes. my goddddd.

right, now that i've climbed out of the spiralling depths of depression, i shall pull an extended analogy from legally blonde. "there is one important thing that everyone should care about... my hair. this hairstylist gave me an awful haircut, but it was my fault. i didn't get involved in the process, i just let it happen. i didn't stop him, i just let him hack away at my hair. so everyone, make a stand, have a voice."

ok i don't think anyone who hasn't watched the movie would understand that, cause i seriously reworded it and messed it up and all. but the point is, speak your mind and be heard. oh and do remember to leave a tag :D



so random crap aside, i played my first game of guitar hero today ! and it was really cool. well i kinda suck, but hey, first-timer, cut me a little slack here. i can't seem to coordinate my fingers for the guitar thing, so me and sis ended up messing with the drums while my dad figured out the guitar. and us being a non-musical family, ah the poor neighbours. sorry dom! :D (though i don't think you would have heard us, seeing as my mum was shushing us nonstop) but who knew a little white box called Wii could be so fun. and for some reason, that almost sounds like a sexual innuedo. heehee.

oh and there was this really nice christmas song playing in some shop, but i have no idea what it was! it was a male singer, and the lyrics had something about christmas (duh) being special and something about children and old folks. gah. let's hope i hear it again somewhere.

imperfect.
chaotic.
that's just how life is,
but we live it anyway.

whoopsie

so, it's another ordinary wasted day. sigh, i need to do something with myself. and ying flew to hong kong today. let's hope she does a lot of shopping and buys some stuff for her friends :D but i think like 3 of my friends are going to hong kong this holiday, and i've never even been there. grrrrr. ah well, shopping in singapore is still ok.

but in the meantime, i've started reading yet another snarry fanfic ;) this one has a depressed harry and mysterious snape and so far, it's ok. though i don't think i should talk about gay fanfic, cause according to jen, it's disturbing :(

oh and the water pipe in the front yard broke today, so water was spurting everywhere and my maid had to turn off the maid water supply. then after she turned it back on, slightly muddy water was coming out of the taps. my maid wanted to just let the water run but it made me kinda guilty to waste water like that. so i took a cup and made several trips back and forth to water the plants. but being the easily distracted person i am, i almost watered the christmas tree :X

whoopsie. but all's fine, except for the fact that i'm still coughing, and i shall go back to reading fanfic. ciao :D

When one door of happiness closes,
another opens.
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one
which has just opened for us.

FINALLY, I'M DONE

gods, it took forever to make this skin. like i started in late september , then silas crashed, then i had exams, then i had after exams stuff, then i had that 3weeks shanghai trip and now... finally. and you know what? THE SKIN'S SO DAMN GROSS. gah, i can't stand it that it's black base. but still... i couldn't stand the other skin either so bah! at least this one features relatively hot guys ;)

sigh. i think when my stupid cold recovers, i will make a better one for myself. and speaking of my cold, it sucks! i woke up and had freakin conjunctivitis or something like that and it was so creepy cause my eye was all red o.O gahhh. and now that it's night, my cough decided that it was bored and im going about spasming. bah!

ok, not really in the mood to blog so... kapeesh. oh and i decided to bestow my blog with an auto play song, so... don't get irritated to death too fast ;)

Age is just a measurement
of how long we've existed in the world.
That means you can still be immature
when you're 160 years old.

BLOODY TOOTHACHE !

arghhh. IT HURTS !!! it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurt. it doesnt hurtttt !!!

hell, its hard to lie to yourself when you cant even say it outloud (cause if you do, you end up honking your nose into a tissue or coughing your tonsils out). sigh, life is unfair.

but anyway, bodily trauma aside, i've found an amazing treasure trove with a shit load of amazing snarrys. yay for good fanfiction ! :D and of course, i spent my entire day (or what was left of it after i woke up so late) reading this brilliiiiaaantttt snarry. it was really good, especially since someone did fanart for it and the fanart was drop dead perfect. so adios skinningggg, and helloooooo fanfiction. oh yeah ;)

but of course, since this skin is getting under my skin (ignore the poor pun in crutches), i'm gonna have to change it. somehow. actually, i have this simple plan skin lined up, but it just doesnt feel right. the image so far... is passable, but the css is driving me nuts cause i just can't get it right. urghhh. the codes look downright ugly. sigh, im having nooblet depression.

ah well, i'll finish it up, sooner or later, and i'm gonna retire from skinning. maybe i should take up another hobby... like sleeping :D (and maybe i'll grow taller !)

oh and i'm not gonna talk about shanghai, unless anyone is actually interested. cause if i'll bore myself to death retelling the whole thing, i'll probably bore whoever actually reads my rants to infinity and beyond (does that retarded buzz light year thing).

urgh. toothache. you're outstaying my hospitality. away with you! begone! vamoose! disappear! vanish! (O2, lol) -.-

oh yeah. why on silas' extremely dirty keyboard earth does the disk space on my c drive flunctuate like mad? it's been going up and down and i spent a hell lot of time fiddling with the command prompt and system restore stuff. well, ok so the difference is not a lot, and if it were a wave the amplitude would be kinda small, but when you only have a two digit amount of free space (in megabytes), 300MB is a lot of difference. gah, silas you're having mood swings.

and now that my stupid frizzing hair is almost dry, i can end this infernal trabble and go to sleep. hmms, i really should bathe earlier.

(eeps, last year in nanyang next year :X)

expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian.

HOME SWEET HOME !

yay! i'm BACCCCKKKK :D and mygosh, it's so HOT WARM. but at least it's not cold, so yeah. anyway, i'm feeling a little lazy to post so... i'll rant about the trip tomorrow. and you have no idea how HAPPY i am to finally see silas again. like after 21 days...

OH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH SILAS !

and i've got new chairs, heh heh. i think my parents figured that what with my record of breaking chairs, they should get more than one. so now, i have this big reddish one and a less... obnoxious black one.

oh and now that the air isn't trying to freeze my tonsils out, i'm hoping my sore throat and flu will go away fast. and i need to soak my feet. i have this vague feeling that they stink, but what with my blocked nose, i can't actually smell them to check. ackk, i need to stop ranting and go bathe.

so, ta ta for now.

stupid, i know
but some part of me still hoped you'd come back
if only just to welcome me home
for one last time

THREE WEEKS IN SHANGHAI !

eeeee. in like around 4 hours time i'll have to wake up to go the airport. which reallyyyyy sucks. but omgosh, SHANGHAI! and i'm not bringing silas. ah, it tears my heart apart just to think of it.

three weeks without silas! what would i do?! and no silas probably means no or minimal fanfiction. which is really bad as well. and my bright orange luggage can't seem to close properly. i'm damn scared it'll burst. but i'm even more scared of getting robbed or mugged or what you call it.

hehs, i suppose that's why the school arranged that self-defence session for us. but it was only one hour, which was hardly helpful at all. we basically learnt how to push people, which i suppose is kinda useful, if that person going after you is like a locomotor idiot. oh and if he's not carrying some giant butcher knife or something.

but back to shanghai. THREE WEEKS! three bloody weeks to freeze my fat butt off. gah, i'll miss my dogs... and prince too, impossible to believe as it is. and cause my luggage is so full, i cant bring pig, sheep nor dog.

and to make things worse, i have this stupid sore throat thats burns real bad. bah! and according to some site, i'll have to wait 5 to 7 days for it to recover. if it doesn't, that means i'm in deep deep deep shit. on the good side, people can't laugh at my utterly horrible chinese cause i can't even talk. yeah ;)

heh. me and zinc are gonna drink lotsa tea while we're at china. i hope that helps my stupid sore throat. but there's gonna be so little shopping, which just makes me really... depressed. and i'm gonna wrap myself up like a giant dumpling in dunno how many layers of clothes, which makes me even more depressed.

gah. guess it's time to sleep. will probably post again... in three weeks time.

( ahhh i can't bear to end this post cause that means i'll have to part with silas D: )

nothing is forever. forever is a lie.
all we have is what's between hello and goodbye.

PICK UP LITTER, YO

sigh. i've got a sore throat. again. i'm just hoping i don't lose my voice (again!) because shanghai is in... 2 days. and oh shit, i haven't finished packing. i'm barely halfway through :(

anyway, we went to pick up litter at east coast park today. which was ok, though it was kinda gross. but the main point is, singaporeans should smoke less. there were a hell lot of cigarette buds all over the place. (and bea found condoms :O) so after lots of hard work ;) , we had a break and pigged out a little before playing random games. like concentration, which we also played during lunch with ms chee :D

then after that went back to class and lazed about while watching youtube videos. oh and i collected my spare pair spectacles today. they feel... weird. like kinda small. zzz, big head -.-

and that's all for now, cause i'm gonna try to so some packing. oh and salad making tomorrow. that, i can probably eat even though i have a sore throat. (unlike the cookies ying is planning to teach me to bake at her house).

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"happy."

more fangirling !

hehs. i guess i've gotten bitten by the kpop bug. but anyway, they are kinda hot, aren't they? i'm not sure what's their proper name, cause they apparently have a few, but what the heck, i'll stick to dbsk. or maybe tvxq. bah, all that lost in translation stuff.

i actually saw that mv on tv and i was like, "omg, they're good." though it would be nice to understand what i was listening to but hey, only an idiot would say no to eye candy like that ;)

Ohhh, if there’s one thing I hang onto,
It gets me through the night.
I aint gonna do what I don’t want to,
Im gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.

-bon jovi

The Panther

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly--. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.

Rainer Maria Rilke

B I G B A D W O R L D

it's a big bad world
we're doing what we can
sometimes we fall on our face
before we even learn to stand
but we get back up
shake off all the dust
and take it step by step

i can fill the whole floor to the ceiling
with all the dead wrong choices ive made
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again (doing it again)
we'll do it again my friend (doing it again)
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

it's a big bad dream
following your heart
sometimes the one you
need's the one that tears you apart
so you say goodbye
kiss her one more time
and cry the whole way home

i can fill up the driest river
with all the tears falling off of my face
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

just running 'round in circles
tripping over every hurdle
we're just trying to do the best that we can

it's a big bad life
all that we can do
is try to make it right
tomorrow something new
so if a big rain cloud
follows you around
dont let it get you down

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

we'll do it again
we'll do it again my friend
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

we do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way it's always been

S H O P P I N G !

whee! i just beat silas at a game of chess :D but anw, before i rant about me and ying's shopping trip today, i shall complain about how my feet are aching like shit.

right, they hurt! oh and the teenage november issue is using SHABBYPRINCESS resources in their articles. like... phooey. and i thought shabby princess stuff can't be used for commercial purposes. blah! hmms, i wonder if cud start charging people for skins like beyondwords. then i would have money to go SHOPPINGGGG again :D

anyway, yes shopping. didn't really spend much today, cause i went shopping on saturday and sunday too. heh heh. so basically ying made me wake up so early (D:) and we had lunch at eunos then went to orchard. then wandered around all those scary high end shops being too poor to afford anything :(

after orchard we went to bugis, where we bought oreo and marshmallows yoghurt (L) after wandering about the building thingy. and there was this very nice hoodie at... i'm not sure if it's bossini or giordano but yeah, nice hoodie! then me and ying ventured into bugis street and well, that place hurts my eyes. it's not the stuff, just that there's too many things. overwhelming, yeah? oh and poor ying, seeing all the shorts that were so much cheaper than the mango one that she bought but hey, at least you know it fits.

but it really is kinda sad, what with so many clothes made for skinny people. and omgosh, all those departmental stores dedicating whole levels to make up. beauty is being commercialised yo!

right, my feet still hurt. and i need to do my ipod design D: i think i've been ranting about that for like... months. but yeah, i sadly still havent gotten to doing it. procrastination 101, and all that shit. i need to finish that simple plan skin i started during the eoy period too. gah, so many things to do i hope my photoshop doesn't die on me.

some pursue happiness,
others create it.

BAH HEADACHE !

arghh. i feel extremely stupid, what with all the self inflicted pain and all. like this stupid annoying quiz is driving me mad and worsening my already horrible headache. oh but no worries, i'm not into self-injury or whattheshit like that.

oh just for your info, self-injury actually includes any form of physical harm done by yourself to your body that is serious enough to damage body tissue. oh and you do this in an attempt to, well, bri certain feelings or change your mood, etc. so no head-banging when you get royally pissed off by idiots ! and my god, never cut. it's a really stupid thing to do, honestly.

personally, i'm not too sure why some people choose to injure themselves. but it apparently makes them feel better. and according to this site, they do it cause it reduces the pain or whatever strong emotion they're feeling to a less overwhelming level. like "they feel this strong uncomfortable emotion, don't know how to handle it, and know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional discomfort extremely quickly".

oh but if you know someone who cuts or self-injures, don't blame them. cause it's just their form of coping, and it's more or less the same as those who drink themselves drunk (and into oblivion) to escape their problems. and self-injuring is their form of not killing themselves. rather contradictory i guess, but inflicting physical harm on themselves releases all the pent up emotion and reduces their urges towards suicide.

but self-harm is definitely not a good thing. there are other ways of releasing pent-up tensions and if necessary, get professional help or talk to a friend. cause god, cutting or whatever other forms of self-mutilation is just... foolish. and it's definitely not cool.

those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt,
but those who keep silent hurt more.

welcome home silas !

ah, today was a marvelous day ! firstly, EOYS ARE OVER. see that?

EOYS ARE OVER !!!!!

man, i can't believe it. no more exams for what... the rest of the year. ok so that's not very long, but still, better than nothing. anyway, after the math paper, me, jen, ying and pam waited two hours for zinc. (i'm still waiting for my cert of sainthood to arrive) but actually, i didn't really mind cause we went to coro and drank sugared water and then ate in school. then, we went to marina square to....

go BOWLING ! :D

hahas. haven't bowled for so long and i do weird things when i bowl but... yeah. my scores weren't that impressive, but i guess that's ok. like we played two games and i got around 100-120 which is actually quite good for a newb noob like me. oh and then me and pam attempted to moonwalk but that didn't work out, especially since i was in bowling shoes. and the cleaning uncle was staring at me like i was "a few fries short of a happy meal".

oh but ying's iphone went kapeesh on us (read: malfunctioned and wouldn't work) so after some window shopping, me and ying went to wheelock(spelt wrongly?) to see if it could be fixed and basically did a lot of walking and eating.

and then stopped at paya lebar on the way home to look for jeans. and when i got home... i was so freakin happy i started squealing and jumping about.

SILAS WAS BACK!

hehs. i can't believe how much i miss my laptop after what... 48 hours. sigh. I LOVE SILASSSS :D

right. i was actually planning on writing a more interesting post, but since i'm kinda distracted by the need to find a good fanfic, ciao !

PS. big thank yous to all those who have tagged. it makes me feel like i'm contributing to society (as the school puts it) when i know people are using my skins and all :)

PSS @ ???. thanks for the offer, but i'm staying celibate for severus ;)

When you look at a person,
any person, remember that
everyone has a story.
Everyone has gone through something
that has changed them.

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY

bah. i thought the weekend would never arrive. but it's FRIDAYYYYY~ and even though i just screwed my bio paper today, nothing can ruin a friday :D

and so, i'm sitting here eating my crystallized yoghurt and looking forward to next year's public holidays.

New Year's Day: 1 Jan (thu)
Chinese New Year: 26, 27 Jan (mon, tue)
Good Friday: 10 April (fri)
Labour Day: 1 May (fri)
Vesak Day: 9 May (sat)
National Day: 9 Aug (sun)
Hari Raya Puasa: 20 Sep (sun)
Deepavali: 15 Nov (sun)
Hari Raya Haji: 27 Nov (fri)
Christmas: 25 Dec (fri)

man, you gotta love 2009 :D

Don't wait for the perfect moment.
Make the moment perfect.

E O Y S

AHHHHHH. right. bio tomorrow and i don't know why i'm blogging but i guess that's cause i can't remember anything anymore so WHATS THE POINT OF MUGGING !

*breaks down*

oh and turns out, silas's graphic card failed. so i got my laptop back on... monday i think. then on wednesday it died again. so the lenovo service center person came by and collected silas. and then i got silas back again yesterday. guess what, his RAM died. so now silas is functioning on half his RAM. which is only 1GB, so he's kinda lagging. bah vista.

bah, so my dad went to harvey norman to get a new RAM, and it's next to me on the table now but i have no idea how to put it in. so on the table it stays :D oh and thank god for warranties, or my piggy bank wouldn't have survived sila's midlife crisis. so yes, silas is workingggggg and no money was involved. yay :D

ohhhh. and my dad bought another 4 years warranty for silas. i have no idea whether i should be indignant or not. like hey... i don't abuse my laptop k. but nvm, good healthcare for silas. it'll probably last till silas's dying beep. and as ying so kindly told me, i'll be 19 when the warranty ends. i highly doubt i'd be using silas. i mean, he'll be around, but more as a keepsake than for actual use.

ok.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

BIO EOY TOMORROW OR RATHER TODAY SINCE IT'S PASS 12.

sigh. it's times like these that i wish the school would have like a power outage or something. then school would be cancelled and the exam wouldn't be in 7+ hours time. BAH! the only reason i havent like died now is that i'm completely looking forward to AFTER exams. only 5 papers left!

There are two ways to look at life,
you can complain that roses have thorns
or you can be happy that thorns have roses

daddy long-legs

right-io. if you have no idea what daddy long legs are, they're just spiders with really long legs. well more or less. oh and they vibrate, apparently. which is what the daddy long legs on the corner of my desk is doing right now. it's been going for at least... 20mins. and i think its slowing down... hmms maybe not.

anw, according to wikipedia, the whole thing about daddy long legs being bloody poisonous except that their teeth cant pierce human skin is a bucketful of crap. and since i'm sitting here watching it vibrate, lets hope its true.

S I L A S ! ! !

sigh. i miss silas. and if you dont know who he is, he's the most wonderful person laptop in the world. i bet he's hotter than your laptop ;) anyway, i got the bloody scare of my life when i turned him on on wednesday morning and BAM. the screen suddenly went black when the desktop was loading up (like after signing in). it's like those cartoons thing, where the colour disappears from the corner and then theres this diamond shape of light before complete blackness. then after that, everytime i turned it on all i got was a big fat blank screen (but it was on, silas was doing his little humming thing).

man, i'm bloody attached to my laptop. so i sort of had a weird emotional breakdown and just stared at silas and started crying for no goddamn reason. it's like staring at a friend in coma i tell you, like you know his alive and still breathing, but hell he's just... in a coma. WAAAAAAAA !

so yeah, in the end my mum sent silas to the lenovo service centre thing. i hope silas recovers :X

and now i feel like i'm... cheating on silas in some weird twisted way. like i'm blogging on this other tiny laptop (my pinky can touch the L and my index finger can reach the A without straining at all. it's that small) and i normally blog on silas :(

and i bet you all think i'm mad/crazy/eccentric/insane/etc. but whattheheck. SILAS !

and it feels so weird, but i'm just not comfortable with this other laptop. i don't feel like reading fanfic or skinning cause it just isnt right. bah!

sigh. and i finished reading breaking dawn yesterday. sort of disappointed the volturi didn't choose to fight but anyway, i cant believe the series is over. guess theres always fanfiction... when silas is back.

and exams next week, but i somehow cant bring myself to care again. i feel sort of... drifty. like everything is happening but not really happening at the same time... i think i should sleep more.

but then i just end up missing christy. i miss having her take up all the blanket at night, about how i would wake up with cat hair on my face but not even care; sigh, i miss being able to hug her to sleep.

so wherever you are right now christy, it's been an amazing five years. i'll love you always.

Everyone says that love hurts.
That's simply not true.
Loneliness hurts,
rejection hurts,
losing someone hurts,
but love never hurts.

marshmallowwww !

bah! IH paper was horrible. like horrible horrible. like as horrible as not having internet access in my room! ok maybe even more horrible than that :O

yeahs, i completely blanked out when i got the paper, so it's more or less a DOOMED thing. and chinese... was hard. i think i might have wrote out of point, but then again, i wrote so little theres no point anyway.

right, lame.

anyway, i finally read a fanfic again, after like so freakin long. which is good :D

but my idiot of a sis wont let me have breaking dawn, so i can't finish the book. bah. talk about showing me paradise and then burning it down. and one of these days, i'm gonna figure out how to write text on my umbrella without it turning runny or being washed away. like its ok to walk in the rain when it's just a light drizzle, but when it's like shoes falling down from the sky, then it's just plain stupid. bah, what is it with men and masochism. so yes, one fine rainy day i am going to use my umbrella and i will proudly display the words i ain't got no y-chromosomes.

watching my sis do sit-ups
is like watching a marshmallow fold and recoil